Lost & Found: A Charm for Trinity

Asking Mom about my body, boys, sex, or anything related to any of them just wouldn't have worked; all she had to do was see two people kissing on TV and she'd get impatient and flustered, and get up on her religious-right high-horse about the 'filth and depravity' that they allowed to be shown on television; I'm surprised it never occurred to her that telling a teenage girl about the perils of sin, filth and depravity is usually a sure-fire way to make said teenage girl want to try out said sin, filth and depravity, just to see what all the fuss is about, and I was no exception.

But Mom wouldn't be budged in her narrow view of the world; TBN or GOD-TV and ancient re-runs of 'the PTL Club' from the church-owned TV station in Falls Bend was as far as televisual entertainment and excitement was allowed to progress in my home.

As for sex, real sex, those of my friends who said they were "doing it" gave such wildly conflicting accounts that I was forced to concede three possibilities: they were all lying, they were each doing something totally different, or it was completely different for every girl. I just didn't have enough information to decide which it was.

Boys had started asking me out on dates, or trying to get me alone to kiss me when we studied, but I wasn't having any truck with that; I didn't like any of them enough to want to do that with them; instead, increasingly, and very intriguingly, the only person I wanted to do that with was Scotty, and that confused and flustered me; he was my brother, you're not supposed to do things like that with your brother...are you?

Eventually, after a skin eruption that made me look like Ground-Zero for the Midwest's biggest acne-bomb, Mom took me to the doctor, who advised her to put me on the contraceptive pill, it would clear-up my skin problems and regulate my painful and irregular periods. Mom did, reluctantly, after a long, rambling, and mostly incomprehensible lecture about "being good" now that I was a young woman.

Whatever she was trying to say, and there was so much euphemism and plain ignorance in there that it actually made no sense at all, being on the pill worked; within a year my raging acne was a distant memory, I had my complexion back, thank God, and had gone from a lanky, awkward teenager with excessive perspiration issues and skin like a Gila-Monster's ass to a clear-skinned, horny young woman with jutting 34C breasts, nipples that stood up and pointed at the slightest provocation, and a slim, shapely figure with, in the words of my girlfriends, the kind of ass that made me dangerous.

In my considered opinion, I was now fully armed and equipped to complete my basic mission: to get my freak with on my hottielicious big brother, by force, if necessary.

Yes, I know, you're not supposed to think like that, not about your brothers, but you didn't live with all that lovely, muscular goodness tempting and torturing you day in and day out; as far as I was concerned, he was fair game, and I was going to have him, and fuck what everyone else thought, he was mine, and he always had been...

Round about this time Pastor Bell (and yes, that Class-A creep was still sleazing around mom) had started giving me some funny looks, kinda like the way he looked at mom, and trying to engage me in conversation, but I just ignored him, which usually set Mom off on one of her tirades while that oily bastard just looked smug. The sound of his voice was like fingernails scraping along my bones but he never seemed to take the hint that I couldn't fucking stand him.

One day, though, he saw Scotty looking real intent at him and backed away real hurried like; I think if he'd tried anything, or touched me the way he touched my mom, or even brushed up against me (and the thought of that made my skin crawl), I have absolutely no doubt Scotty would have kicked his ass up and down the hallway and fuck what Mom thought about it, and I'm sure the dear pastor knew it too...

Anyway, back to my plotting...

Finally, my opportunity came, a few months after my eighteenth birthday. I had finished High School, it was high summer, and I was at a loose end, as I'd deferred college for a year to try and save the parents some money. Mom and Dad had to go away for two weeks right at the start of Summer; some ancient relative we'd never heard of in Billings, Montana was sick, and the 'rents had to go and see her, probably just in case she died without the chance to leave them some money...

The woman lived in a shack with no indoor plumbing, so Scotty and I regretfully declined the offer of a trip to the windswept middle of nowhere, tempting as it sounded, and the parents agreed, which was a first for them.

Because Scott, who was already long past 21, always looked after me so well, and was always so protective of me, they were quite happy to leave us alone, secure in the knowledge that as long as he was around me, nothing bad was ever going to happen to me, i.e. boys, sex, fun, a life.

To look after me, Scotty had taken two weeks' leave owing him and stayed home instead of drinking himself into a stupor and partying like a lunatic in Panama City with his friends, something he'd been looking forward to all year. It was doubly sweet of him, because he really needed a vacation to blow off some steam. He worked long, long hours with a national insurance company in their regional Head Office in Rancho Valdez, about sixty miles away, the closest job he could find; the poor guy was always either working or stretched-out exhausted in front of the TV; he needed to get away and party a little, but he chose to stay with me instead, because Mom needed him to keep me safe while they were gone.

Being at home with me also helped his finances; he was saving up to fully restore his car, a classic 70's Torino he'd seen on TV when he was a kid and lusted after forever, and being a party animal with his lunkhead friends in Florida would have busted his savings big time, as well as pissing Mom off for the rest of eternity.

So, quite without my planning it, fate took a hand and ensured I had him at home, all to myself, for a whole two weeks, 24 hours a day. Now that we were on our own, I was hoping I could somehow manoeuvre him into making a move on me, or failing that, getting him to sit still while I took a run at him.

Actually, I was more hoping for a sort of 'Hallmark' moment, where we suddenly fell into each other's arms after a smoldering, meaningful glance, instantly recognizing we were soul-mates, and made passionate declarations of our love for each other. Hey, I was an eighteen year-old virgin, give me a break...

The first night they'd gone, after a cool shower and some snacks, just salad, chips and dips, we watched one of my favorite mother-approved movies. I had seen it several dozen times before (OK, I'm exaggerating...a little), but I like teen rom-coms and neither of us felt like calling around to see if anyone had anything worth watching (no cable, no internet, so no Netflix; we really were stranded in the 1950's in our house...), so we picked this film I liked out of the DVD rack, G-rated, of course, suitable for retarded 5th Graders, because Mom wouldn't even allow PG-rated movies in the house, ordered a pizza, and settled down for movie night, just the two of us.

Once it was finished we watched another movie, again, something I wanted to watch, a 'chick-flick', as Scotty so dismissively called it, full of sweet and non-threatening romance and 'feelings', stuff I knew he hated. He watched me grin as he stated with a straight face that if he watched one more film about butt-headed hormonal teens he was going to start having periods of his very own. I knew it was just something to make me say eeeeww and punch his arm so he could look all injured and in pain, but he sat with me anyway, because he knew I wanted to lean on him while I watched.

As it was, I got to cuddle up next to him and have a secret little sniffle at all the sweet, romantic parts, while poor Scotty sat there with an expression like someone was gently scratching his balls with a hot fork, but he endured it for me. I wanted to stay up and watch one more movie after that, but Scott said it was late, and his head was ready to fucking explode from his pent-up need to explore his feelings, so I had to scram, because it was his turn now, which got him another punch on the arm.

While I got ready for bed he chatted to me (from the hallway outside my room, with his back to the door, in case he saw something he shouldn't, worse luck) and wished me goodnight, as he'd done every night of my life, then went back down to the den to quote watch something 'kiss-kiss-bang-bang' with naked chicks, explosions, and guns, so stay out, this is guy-time now, and you're not a guy! unquote, neatly dodging another punch on the arm.

After about twenty minutes of tossing and turning I still couldn't get to sleep; I was excited (and more than a little horny, too...) to be finally home alone, for a whole two weeks, with my hottie big brother, something I'd wanted for a long time now, and had never, ever managed. I wanted to tease him a little, maybe even try and get him to kiss me the way the boys at school had wanted to, or maybe even something more. I'd never have a better opportunity, now that Mom's beady eye wasn't fixed on me...

I was technically still a virgin, because the only thing that had ever been inside me were tampons or my own fingers, but I knew about sex, admittedly mostly from talking with my girlfriends. The occasional foray into cyberspace (in secret at my girlfriends' places; not all the families in our town were conservative cave-dwellers like Mom) to view the kind of porn I'd only ever heard about was, usually, deeply disappointing, if only because the porn stars were so unrealistically hot, with more plastic than a Tupperware yard-sale, or just incredibly sleazy.

I knew, deep down, that if anyone was going to be my first real fuck, it was going to be Scotty, because that was what I really, really wanted from him, and only him. Thoughts and feelings like this were keeping me awake, and eventually I decided that I wasn't in the mood to sleep; I'd rather be huddled up against Scotty, no matter what kind of dumb action-movie he was watching from the stash of DVD's Mom didn't know anything about, just so I could enjoy having his arm around me. So I slipped my robe over my sleep-wear and slipped down to the den again. I stood in the doorway, and when I saw what was on the TV screen, I stopped dead, wide-eyed, my mouth gaping open.

Scott was watching a movie with a beautiful young girl and a handsome young guy fucking! The girl was on her back, with her legs spread wide open, and the man had his cock inside the girl, and was pumping in and out. Then the young girl got on all fours, and the man slowly slid his cock into her ass, while she whimpered and begged him to "fuck my asshole, stick your big cock in my ass, go on, you fucker, shove your fat cock in my ass!" and so on, endlessly encouraging the guy to ram his large, swollen dick into her stretched-open butthole.

I got more and more excited as I watched. I began to rub my pussy and gently tease my nubbin through the gap in my robe. I noticed Scott's head was thrown back slightly, and intrigued, I peered into the room to see if he was doing what I thought he was doing. He was. His jeans and boxers were pushed way down and he was squeezing and stroking a thick cock, at least 8 inches long, with a large, shiny purple head!

I watched, enthralled, and that's when I heard him.

"Ooohhh God, Trini, yes, baby, you're so tight, oh God, what a tight ass you've got, take it, take it all, Trini, I know you like it like this!" he moaned, his hand sliding up and down on his beautiful, thick cock with a scary, exciting curve in it, just the right shape for digging deep into my tight pussy, or reaming-out my ass!

I stared at him, thunderstruck that he was thinking of me while jerking-off, while my heart suddenly hammered so loud I really thought he'd hear it. At the same time, my pussy gave a sudden pulse and began to feel warm at the thought of that lovely meaty flesh pummelling me or stretching open my asshole, and a wicked, naughty, but oh-so appealing idea came to me. I grinned as I cat-footed back up to my room, slipped out of my sleep-wear, brushed my hair until it shone, liberally applied some lotion to my labia and around my throbbing little butt hole, just in case, and crept back down to the den.

Once again I stood in the shadows outside the door, my gaze alternating between watching him fist that beautiful, scary-looking piece of man-flesh, and that pretty girl on screen as the boy shoved his cock everywhere he could find a hole.

Finally I couldn't take it any longer and slipped around the couch so I could see even more clearly. Scotty's eyes were screwed tightly shut as his fist pounded up and down on his cock. I licked my lips and knelt down silently on the carpet next to the couch. Then, I just couldn't stop myself. As his hand slid down his cock I reached out and squeezed it the way I'd seen him doing it.

His eyes snapped open, but even as he opened his mouth in shock, he began to cum, long ropes of sperm bursting out of the plum-shaped head and splattering all over his thighs and lower stomach. He groaned as he fixed his eyes on me, pumping and squeezing him until the powerful jets of semen died away and a thin glaze of sperm bubbled and ran down over my clenched fist.

"Trini, what...why...Oh my God, why...this was...Oh dear God!" he babbled, suddenly galvanized into action as I smiled at him. He tore off his shirt and swiped at the gray-silver streaks all over his upper thighs and midriff, and threw it at me.

"Clean yourself up, it's all over your...oh God, Sis, what have you done?" he moaned, yanking his pants back up as he stood up.

"Scotty, it's okay, really...!" I began, but he scowled at me, his face flushed and drawn.

"It is not okay! This was wrong, what you did was wrong, Sissy, what the fuck were you thinking? You can't do things like that! God, you're my little sister, d'you know how wrong this was? Sissy, why did you do that to me?"

The little glow I'd had inside from bringing my brother off like that died away as I realized he was really furious; my little fantasy of him sweeping me off my feet evaporated as I realized what I'd done. I'd wanted him, I'd acted on that feeling without asking, and now he was furious with me. I wasn't about to give up just yet though; perhaps I could salvage this.

"Scotty, I just wanted to..." I began, but he cut me off in mid-sentence.

"I don't care what you wanted, you shouldn't have done that!" he shouted. "God, I feel so dirty, you're my kid sister for Chrissake! What in God's name did you think was going to happen? Sissy, you can't touch me like that, not ever! Of all the stupid, bullshit things to do...can't you understand there are laws against things like that, that you broke the law? You're only eighteen, and I'm over twenty-one; if anyone finds out, if Mom and Dad find out, I could go to jail for 5 years, are you getting this?"

I paled as the blood drained from my face; he was right! I could have gotten him jailed, and he, poor baby, he hadn't even done anything, it was all me!

Scotty stared at me for a few more seconds, the silence drawing out until it was painful, his eyes slitted and angry even as his mouth tightened into a thin line. He was furious with me, and he was right to be. What had I done, what was I thinking?

At last he stirred, deliberately tuning his back on me.

"Go to your room, Trini, I...I don't want to see you right now, of all the stupid, stupid...just go to your room, please, now!"

I tried one last time to salvage something, anything from this whole situation.

"Scotty, I'm sorry..." but he cut me off.

"I don't wanna hear it, Sis, I really don't wanna hear it; just go!"

His voice was low, controlled, but I could see the flush on the back of his neck, and his fists clenched by his sides. I turned with a sob and ran up to my room; part of me was hoping he'd come after me, like he did when I was young, and let me make it right with him, but he didn't; for the first time in my life he left me to cry alone.

As I cried, I went over the whole thing again in my head, reliving every second of it; he was right, I had no right to be touching him like that, he was my big brother, not my lover, he'd never once indicated that he felt about me the way I felt about him, never once even looked at me differently, he'd only ever cared for me, so how could I have been so stupid?

And yet, overlaying my self-loathing at what I'd done to him, even as I berated myself for being so stupid as to endanger him like that, something else entirely was swimming across the top of my mind; try as I might, the memory of his eyes boring into mine and the pulsing in my fist as the powerful jets of sperm hosed out of his beautiful cock wouldn't leave my head.

I lay there for what seemed like hours, going over it again and again, wallowing in my guilt; I'd acted on my impulses because the most wonderful boy in the world wanted me, but it was just his fantasy, and now I'd screwed-up so completely I'd likely never be able to look him in the eye again. I could have had him sent to jail! Scotty was going to hate me forever now, I'd seen it in his eyes, I'd lost him forever, all because I couldn't keep my stupid hands to myself...!

It took me a while to register the gentle tapping on my door.

"Trini? Baby, it's me..."

Silly man, who else would it be? Even as I thought that, the shame and embarrassment at what I'd done flared up again, making the tears spill over and run down my cheeks.

"Go away, Scotty, please..." I sobbed, but the tapping never ceased.

"Trini, don't cry...baby-girl, I'm not mad anymore, please, we have to talk...!"

Even through my tears, my ears pricked up; he wasn't mad at me, I hadn't lost him! I flew to the door and yanked it open, with poor Scotty almost falling into the room where he'd been leaning against the door, listening out for me.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I thought it was what you wanted, I didn't mean to make you mad, please don't hate me...!" I babbled, trying to say everything at once, while I still had the chance.

Scotty wrapped his arms around me, and suddenly it was alright; I had him back again, I hadn't lost him! He could be as mad as he liked at me, but he couldn't hold me like that and not still love me.

"I don't hate you, Sissy, shh, it's over now, stop, please..." he murmured, while he rubbed my back and stroked my hair as he held me in the hollow of his shoulder.

"Scotty, I'm so, so sorry, I didn't...!" I mumbled, but he cut me short.

"But you did, Trini, and it was wrong...but look, I scared you, and I didn't mean to, so I was wrong too, okay? I'm sorry baby, it was just...I was shocked, that's all. I know you thought it was a good idea, but you can't go doing stuff like that just 'cause you want to; boundaries, hun, you have to respect other people's boundaries."

All the while, his hand gently rubbed my back, the soothing, calming gesture he'd used all my life, letting me know he was sorry he'd scared me, calming me down, starting to make it right between us again. When he was sure I'd stopped crying, he held me at arm's length and smiled gently at me, looking into my eyes as he finger combed the hair out of my eyes.

"OK, all better now?" he asked, once more smiling at my nod.

"Good, let's siddown; I think we need to talk, and perhaps you can tell me about it. Don't worry, I'm not mad, but I'm still a little freaked; why did you think doing that to me was something I'd want?"

I looked guiltily at him, ready to flinch and cower if he started on me again.