by Hypoxia
Well written, naughty and original. I read a lot of stories on this site, yours was so intriguing I hung on every word. Please give us more of the family's adventures!
Once again, the story fooled me. I thought I was writing a vignette (one LIT page or less) about a gringo family possessed by infant souls in Guatemala after eating traditional Day Of The Dead super-tamales. It was going to be in a trio of shorts in my A TASTE OF INCEST story cycle: A TASTE OF PUMPKIN and A TASTE OF SPIRITS and A TASTE OF TAMALES. Instead, I got the seed for a VAMOS! series about the family's travels, and possession by that nasty Maximón guy. (PUMPKIN became another trio, and SPIRITS will be a round-the-campfire collection of ghost stories.) Storylines take over authors' minds like cat parasites and we just go nutz. Yow.
Having spent some time in Guate, you may wish to change some of your pronunciation translations.
As in Valencian, X replaces CH, so Quetzaltenango is known as Xela, pronounced Chela.
My levitation experience turned out to be a combination of things with an earth tremor.
Nice to recognise my old hunting grounds, especially Pana, where a friend has a house near the beach.
X takes many pronunciations in the LatAm Spanish I've heard and studied, My Guatemalan cousins and teachers pronounce Xela as SHAY-law. I'll have to tell them they're wrong. ;)
This story felt like it came up short, but I just can't seem to put a finger on how. Call it a gut feeling, something missing. It had potential, but it did not feel like it lived up to that potential.
My own favorite passage is: "Mom and my little brother drifted together and settled on the other bed with similar motions and results. Mom aimed her son's thick-veined penis into her ready vagina. They groaned and growled and ground themselves together." All forms of family fucking (aka "incest") are fine. But there's just something about a boy's penis sliding up into the same vagina he came out of as a little baby that strikes me as so damn cool. It's so outrageous and so simply great. Lots and lots of boys and their moms would agree--the perfect place for a boy's semen is in his own mother's warm wet ever-loving cunt.