All Comments on 'She Fooled Me'

This one seemed rushed.

But this seemed more like an outline than your usual stories. It was kind of flat in the character development...look forward to your next offering

Wolf_Man_1962

Much better than the tripe being posted to this site of late.

What was your hurry? The story seemed rushed and lacked your usual personal touch.

Read more like a narrative/outline or a rough first copy.

I enjoyed It.

Gave this 4* simply because its finally a story that's not written by one of the breeding baboons on here and because it seemed rushed.

...this one does seem rushed indeed. I, too, think this one is pretty flat in character developement. I rated this one 3*; usually you tend to be between 4 - 5 *.

Not your usual and little RUSH. Thanks for the read

Good story; if only for the sane reaction to discovery of a lying, cheating, slut of a wife.

To go along with the other commenters, I felt like this story was rushed. However, my biggest problem was the conversation at the bar. One of the first questions they asked Angie was if she had sex outside the marriage. She said no, and that she flirted with guys but that her and Brent usually went out together. And then the next question was about having an abortion - in which she admitted to having sex with Jim. No one called her out on lying to the first question. I just feel like this story could have been developed just a little bit more.

The wife lied to her husband throughout their marriage. So it could be understood that she would lie to her friends then take it back.

Leonji

Was like my dick - a liitle too short.

Thanks

Sadly, another story of yours with a hurried ending. The build up was good, and the exposure of her infidelity was classic DG.

It seemed like once that happened the wheels fell off, and it was a slam bam thank you ma'am

Disappointing 3. Could have, NO should have been much much better.

I didn't really think I rush it. I didn't have anything else to say. Possibly in the future there is always a chance of seeing what further direction their lives went, but no promises. I just write what comes into this old head of mine. Thank you all for taking the time to read and comment. Always appreciated.

DG

Why comment when you haven't read the story? Angie didn't say she hadn't cheated, her friends all knew that she'd screwed Jim!

Rush job dg... boilerplate.. but you know that; you're too good an author not to know mediocre when you see it. 3+....

They had sex the very night that they met? Why should he trust her?

If it wasn't rushed, can you explain why Barb's husband wasn't sent a disk? She got off Scott free

about this story is that it is from you. It's been too long since your last posting.

I have to agree that this isn't up to your normal standards. It does read like an outline instead of a complete story. You are a good author and this story is not a good representation of your talent.

Thanks for the posting and please keep writing.

Woodmanone

Why are British men such wimps like this guy???

It's a little dry.

Great story. Shows how it's a good idea to rush into marriage without full knowledge

Actually, I got only one third down the first page when I realized I had all the information I needed to comment. No pregnancy test, unknown background, the girl friend has no self-respect or self-discipline, smart loving parents kept out of the loop until after the marriage ceremony . . ., this guy deserves whatever happens to him in this story. If its bad, he deserves it. If its good, he should have stayed in Las Vegas and broke the bank, because he has incredible luck. The details of your yarn are just the filler describing how his luck played out. And as said, he's too dumb to care about. But thanks for the effort.

HGH's better stories. Way too many little mistakes. This "complaint" is directed at many LW authors - Why do virtually all office-working LW husbands have a secretary? Here we have an Electrical Engineer who is barely out of college. Why would he have a secretary? And, a second "complaint," why is The Board always on-site? Hadn't it appointed a CEO, President, whatever to handle the day-to-day activities? The Board certainly did not need to interview an entry-level EE.

And I'll bet I can quote line by line the ending. So far, at the time of their return from Vegas we have a suave but geeky intellectual type while despite the intellect can only seem to think with his small head. AND has an ego the size of Mt. Rushmore as to why this young woman might be with him. Seem like the standard recipe for marital disaster? Lets find out. So far DG you only have a single *. I hate standard fares and predictability.

I know some people prefer every story to be brief, but this is a great example of why it's important to match the scope of your tale to the amount of distance you're willing to cover.

If you try to pack a couple's dating history, the initial uncertainty and building foreboding of discovering an affair, the first gut response and later, larger revenge, the cheater's simpering, and the future happiness of our hero all into less than 10,000 words, then it reads as this story does....as an outline, only put together to organize the writer's plans.

I know of a very similar instance where the wife aborted a baby because she wasn't sure if her husband or her boss was the father. When the husband found out he went to a crisis pregnancy center and got some brochures with pictures of aborted babies. He went home and taped them to the mirror in her bathroom.

When she walked in and saw them she screamed and fainted. When she came to her husband said "You killed my baby." She got hysterical trying to deny it but he too had proof...paperwork from the abortion clinic.

She was still pleading with him to forgive her as he packed his bags. He finally said, "'I'll forgive you when our baby is alive again" as he walked out the door.

That night she swallowed everything in the medicine cabinet. Two days later the movers found her dead in the bathroom clutching a picture of an aborted baby in each hand. Now that's justice.

I should also second the feeling that DG is, historically, one of the best writers on this site. That's probably more true now that the average story quality has degraded so badly.

1. Move money slowly in small amounts to hidden cash locations.

2. Cover tracks, wait 6 months. (3 months minimum)

2a. Get new evidence during the latter part of this time.

3. File for divorce

4. Settle assets, income, whatever

5. Let divorce finalize

6. NOW GET the revenge

Remember she loses her job or is damaged by your actions YOU could be no the hook for more money. If there is a on going financial relationship she could come bake for more later!

Why would Brent be so quick to have a romp with his wife after he knew she had been cheating, probably with several others? Would the possibility of STD not even factor in, such as, maybe to wear a ribbed condom and tell her that he was wearing it to give her some new thrills? Also, he pulled out the pill bottle and abortion record after he supposedly just received the disk. Wifey should have realized he already knew. .

I agree with what TheUnoriginalist said. DG you're one of the best LW writers here, but this story does not reflect it. Sorry. Looking forward to your next story.

This is a good story, short to the point...But the wife got out of it too easily...With the abortion proof no judge would give her a damn dollar...She was a cheater and a killer...

I agree with the majority. Not up to the author's usual caliber. I gave DG 4*s although my usual scoring is

1* = lousy to I cannot believe I read this crap

3*s = ehhh! cannot say it does much for me but was well written and with thought.

5*s = Good, great, outstanding story.

my ranking system does not place a lot of weight on punctuation, grammar, flow, or other writing mechanics. Ebonics (or poor English grammar or spelling) from ESL writers is fine as long as I can understand the story line. Basically I believe the rating system to be about the authors meaning, NOT how perfectly they can formulate a sentence or paragraph. I leave that chore to the idiots at Berkeley English Lit, Cambridge upper-crust types, and or Ivy League wannabes.And I digress as usual....

I gave DG 4*s instead of my regular 3*s because he IS a good writer and I figure this piece to have been a statistical aberration. Besides... I like engineers for some reason. Although, most of the ones I know are not like the stereotypes usually found here.

I thought he started his own firm after college rather than go to work with his Dad? Why would he leave his own Company? And wouldn't Angie be entitled to a LOT more money? She would have gotten a lawyer and even an idiot realizes with Brent was responsible for the recordings. So all he has to use in Court is the pill bottle and the abortion records. Not enough to get him away from Angie scott free as regards the money he and his family have. And why, since he clearly dislikes Sheila, would ha have anything to do with her? He's still married. She's best friends with Angie. You don't think she would testify in open Court the HE was also and adulterer? While I liked the overall story there were a couple of glitches that detracted from it.

Barb asserted that all four of the April Fools had sex with Jim. That was a given. Mary successful claimed she had NOT. Sweetie, soon after, confirmed Barb's inclusion by citing that Jim was her possible inseminator.

Concur with most comments to date. NOT DGs brightest hour.

Nonetheless 4*

Transmitter and receiver ... just ain't happening. Since the storyline is totally dependant on this fantasy technology, then the story fails. Not one of your best offerings but well written as always.

He left because he felt that everyone there would know about how his marriage ended and he couldn't live with that. And he didn't say he started his own company, just that he wanted to make it on his own without his dad helping him get a job right out of school.

He should have put back in the oven and baked it again. The fact that she had contact with Jim back before they married came as a bit of a surprise. It makes the reason for hiring her suspect.

This is the kind I like. Cheating wife who tries to do it behind the hubby's back but gets caught and gets her ass kicked to the curb.. I DON'T like the "hotwife" "husband watches" "makes husband a wimp" stories. I found I already had your submission page bookmarked and looks like this is your thing. I'll be reading more.

5 *'s

Well written, good characters, good plot. I would have enjoyed a little more of a happy ending for Brent and something more against Angie but that is just me.

No I am not a BTB fan but just thought a little more story would have made a stronger ending. If she married Brent for his future earning why did she cheat.

Overall good, no real compliant from my reading.

Please keep writing and I will keep reading

What happened that no one took a pregnancy test. He would have known she wasn't pregnant,so why rush into a marriage. Also it's very rare these days for a firm to fire you for what happens outside working hours. But he did good sending out those tapes to the wives of those cheaters. But those cheaters still are free to strike again. I Quess you need loose morals to fall for THOSE LOSERS.

Same plot, same characters (with different names) same result

For some reason I thought that the author would, just this once, write a different story. Nope

Borderline boring. Thanks for sharing.

I was wondering about him fucking Sheila, too.

<P>

In addition, I was wondering about the report from the abortion clinic. The way he arranged everything, he and everyone else just got the discs with the recordings, including the information that she had the abortion. Yet, when she gets home he has the report from the clinic. I don't know about you, but it would seem especially convenient that he just happens to get the disc and he just happens to have the report regarding an abortion he just happened to find out about.

<P>

A little conversation between Sheila and Angie, and he who set up of someone anonymously sent the discs falls apart. A quick trip to the clinic would reveal he had the report before the discs arrived. (Also, I’ve seen reports – medical and otherwise – where the print date is stamped on the report, not just the date that was reported. If this is one of those cases, he set up is screwed. Of course, this being fiction, that part is easily dismissed.)

I wonder what percent of all cheating wives got caught by the husband's inventive genius in the field of electronic surveillance. At least hubby is not a CIA boss who is an Seal vet with an army of loyal ex-subordinates who just happen to be working as divorce lawyers and private investigators. Come on, write something that an average Joe can relate.

I agree with those who say it seemed rushed.

end up with lies, whats new. TK U MLJ LV NV

That is more like the old DG, nicely done. At some points felt a bit like a recitation of facts, as we didnt really get to know Angie enough to care, nor due to the short time of their courtship and marriage. But overall a 4.

That's the thing about marrying sluts, you get what you paid for. I have sat each of my kids down and explained you want a high character spouse, one that has demonstrated they are willing to delay gratification for some important goal. That means someone with responsible habits, gets up early, has a job, saves money etc. Too many of the younger folk seem to live for today like Mary pointed out in your story.

A quick read, short and to the point, with the correct ending. My kind of story, ***** stars!

Thanks...welcome back!

Not the cheating wife genre in general, but stories like this one, told in a sequential a...b...c... fashion with every little inconsequential detail mentioned, like a barroom story told by a bore. The narrator is always a very reasonable man with a proclivity for sneaky behavior, who rarely loses his temper. Sigh. There is frequently a quirky plot device such as a close friend who works in espionage or suchlike. Double sigh. Finally, the narrator dumps his cheating wife with his head held high, often picking up an even better wife in the bargain. Triple sigh. DG, time to up your game. Lose the narrator, put the reader in the action, and write some believable dialogue.

This story only was bla bla bla. Someting for the trash can!

much more enjoyable than about 90% of the stories appearing on this site. ****

Told the story well and in a direct manner. I enjoyed it,

not very exciting or stimulating. and it seemed to be a bit formal.

it was just missing that spark or edge this author usually has.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. I didn't think it was rushed. I thought DG told the tale quite well. I felt like I knew Brent well enough to empathize and I felt I knew his wife well enough to feel sorry for her. I said sorry not approving. I gave the story a five because it was fun to read, and it gave me a break from having to go back in the house and be with my family.

Narrative and dialogue just to sterile and clinical, no emotion, no drama. kind of bland reading

Much better than the garbage that has been posted on this site lately but not the usual DG story either. I can't help but agree with many of the comments that it seemed rushed. Looking forward to better that I know you can write.

I like your stories and alot of your favorite authers are also mine. I do wonder why, so many of you spend a page or 2 on background and then when you get to the meat of the story you seem to end it quickly. To me the bio of meeting and your life up that point is secondary to the actual story itself.

There is a difference between 'Sexual Harassment' and Sexual Misconduct. This was the latter. All parties would have been dismissed.

My only problem was there wasn't enough revenge against the cheaters. Still a great tale.

Four stars

It's kind of short and not really up to your usual standards

I am biased - I really like DG's writing style. To me, though, this story flowed logically and credibly. Good entertainment.

Brent started his own company. He couldn't and wouldn't simply leave and go elsewhere. He had responsibilities all round. Did Angie have a pregnancy test before they married? That was the reason for marrying, surely Brent would have wanted to know for certain that she really was pregnant?

But it was ruined by some key points, like the quick marriage without a simple pregnancy test, or the fact that she got married at all. Then the "reprimands" for not reporting the harassment? Victims don't get blamed, because lawsuits are very expensive and it's easy to prove intimidation.

Lastly, no matter what, two wrongs don't make a right, there is never justification for cheating...so why is it ok for Brent to cheat on Angie WHILE still married? If cheating is wrong, then it is wrong, period! Also, the simulated rape of Angie: because despite the author doing his best to minimize it, Brent raped her.

So why are his actions ok?

I was shocked to read that a black man would actually stoop low enough to want to fuck a cumslut like Angie.

it's a thing with them! dates back to slavery1! Yea I know I'm a racist! But I'm honest so deal with it

change it to house and children, use hubby or wife and you see a problem with marriage and relationships in the present times. Sad. TK U MLJ LV NV

She was a slut when I met her, and all through college; but who would have thought she could do this to me...

I think the story is a good example for the young generation to learn from others. Nowdays the baby in wedlock is not a shame to the women. If a girfriend says she is pregnant it is mistake to marry her. GUYS you must wait it was a lie, wrong mentstrual cycle or she is 100% sure pregnant. The marriage may be when the kid is 1 year old you guys live together with the woman and the DNA test secretly or not was done! Nowdays many pairs start the common life without marriage certificate and the marriage can be a crown of the common kids and life...........is this the future?

Glad to see finally write something better than your usual " happy-sappy " stuff.

the idea of a new norm, I hope is not true, but who knows. I already knew about women going to college for the purpose of finding a husband, they were doing that in the 60's. nice job on the story, but would have liked more revenge. it doesn't seem right to have your heart ripped out, and all you got for revenge was a divorce.

Great stories through the years. This story was fun. Brent got the goods on Angie in a believable way. He also got some payback by screwing Angie's best friend and divorced Angie just like he should. If Angie were remorseful at all she would have quit fooling around after she had the abortion! Thanks for writing *****

It's been awhile since you have submitted a story and like most everyone else, we are glad you are back submitting stories again... BUT, I don't know if it is because of your time away but this was below what you have always submitted. This story was like Michelangelo knocking the corners off a block of marble and calling it his latest masterpiece. This would be a good story if I wrote it but for you, I guess we have been spoiled with the great stories you have submitted in the past. I did not think I would ever do it but I could only give 2 stars. The story has got good bones to it but you need to expand on the back story and some of the details to bring it up to your usual standard.

....it suffered from an unusual number of obvious mistakes, and seemed almost breathless, like a tale told between two joggers.

I hope your next one is more aligned with the larger bulk of your writing....and that you're feeling well and up to the full challenge.

thanks for the offering.

DGH

I have read a lot of your stories of which, I can say were or are pretty good. I do however feel that, although this one was a good story, it is somewhat below your usual standards. this is not to say that it wasn't a good story just not up to your usual self. I also see where you haven't written in a while for whatever reason. Judging by your other stories, I want to say that I do hope that you came back with the sincere desire to continue to write stories that are as good or better than your others. so I say welcome back.

Also I would like to say, that I thank you for having the husband in this story being a real man, and not one of those who seem to get turned on by their wives having screwed some other guy. Because as I read other stories where this is suppose to happen, it pisses me off to think that whether or not this actually happens the husbands are nothing less than some sissy boys and therefore deserve to live like the wimp assholes that they are. I am so glad you seem to write about what a real man does in a situation like this. Again thank you for that.

Brief with good storytelling. Cheers

THE LITEROTICA IS A FANTASY SITE. I think the only good narrow escape from the trap situation to write such stories where the AUTHORS show the true revenge against the cheating wives is to find second better women..........Authors do not regard to negaive comments to write about successful ex husbands after cheating wives! DGHear wrote such stories.

A woman doesn't need permission to have an abortion.

after all the cheating wives stories. that I'm addicted to, there is one truth that I must state here. there are good women out there, believe it or not.

Short & sharp.

Great stuff!

HP

In my uneducated opinion not one of your stronger story lines but always enjoy your writing. If you accept I can separate the two

Good story DGH. I enjoyed it. It would have been great to have these mini mic and recorders 30-40 years ago. The divorce rate would be over the top of the charts, huh? Cheers!

2nd time not as nice. TK U MLJ LV NV

if the story takes p,ace in the U.S.A. In 2015, Angie gets several thousands of dollars for their violation of HIPAA, The health insurance portability and Accountability Act of 1996. Google "hipaa and wrongful disclosure and money and lawsuit" for the past. Year. Google "colonoscopy and Virginie" for June 2015. $500k for bad-mouthing a patient who was under general anesthesia but who left his cell phone recording audio.

Angie may still be divorced, but she won't have to worry about the housing costs

The abortion clinic needed her husbands signature for the procedure and it had been forged. He had every right to request any paperwork that he had 'supposedly' signed. If she tried to sue the clinic she would have been exposed for forging his signature. She'd get shit. Besides, no way was she going to be able to afford a lawyer. And given the circumstances, no reputable lawyer would take her case.

"I can't afford this place on my salary, please Brent, we can work this out." - Ahh! There it is in a nutshell! The key behind why women want a man - money. Her fear was not of losing him, just his money, her lifestyle, her personal fun. After a person is caught cheating they are sorry that they risked the above all for a little sex on the side.

Who says a little nukie never hurt nobody?

Killing a Man's child is a crime against humanity.

your job is to hold on. TK U MLJ LV NV

She is what you call a slimy skanky cheating cunt. Also a miserable person who will burn in hell. Lied to him about being pregnant for marriage and then cheated and got an abortion. She should suffer permanently.

I agree with Rose and her school of thought and hope the "new" behaviour is not the new normal.

If he wanted to be on his own instead of going to work at his father's firm and started his own company, how was it possible for him to just say goodbye to his employees, walk out the door, and leave town?

About a third of the way down the first page he talks about "The company I work for..." He's not self employed.

Guess I am to fucking old fashioned for the way younger people do things (am 67).

I guess I am not liberal enough for today's society

Haven't been laid since I was 44 when wife told me she no longer wanted sex.

I was to figure out after her death in '09 that she had at least two girl friends and one boy friend. All the signs were there I was just to damn dumb to see.

what is it with todays women who think it ok to open their legs to any man whether they are married or not....what a lying two faced fucking skank whore she was then to get an abortion and say it was the flu....and why did the clinic not contact him personally....just shows what women will do to cheat....any women going out on their own in a group are trouble as the skanks will always egg the others on to cheat...pity he did not make the bitch pay more and drag her through the mire...and glad those two jerks got fired and the women kicked them out but he should have sued the company for allowing that to go on..he was well rid of the two timing cheating whore

I have seen a lot of anonymous 1 bombing of stories with some interracial themes (even it it is incidental) lately, so seeing someone own it is a change. Props for that.

However, I have to call BS on your assertions.

1) A story theme is not a crutch. If the author added it, it was their intent to bring the reader along to some point. It might not be received by all readers that way, but that is typically the reason for its inclusion.

2) A "HUGE majority of people are disgusted by the thought of interracial coupling." Really? Because the IR section has a lot of stories that indicate otherwise. The number of favorited and hot stories there are also pretty damn high. Let's even look past the insular world of Literotica. The changing demographics of the US (and many other countries) also put the lie to your assertion. More and more marriages between people of different ethnicities, more mixed children - not less - over time. I believe that is called "mainstreaming".

If YOU are disgusted, that says volumes about you, and you are welcome to your granular opinion. But please refrain from adding anyone else to your grand total. I can speak for myself, thank you. So can everyone else.

Getting off the soapbox. I now return you to your regularly scheduled comment section.

Shut the fuck up I don't understand that crap you spout but you keep spouting!

Why in the heck would the husband have sex with his wife knowing what she had been doing?

Anon of 6/30/15, your comment was absurd. Where have you been hiding out for the last 39 years. In 1976, the United States Supreme Court ruled that laws requiring a woman to get the husband's consent for an abortion were UNCONSTITUTIONAL! That was 39 years before your idiot comment. Furthermore, in 1992, the United States Supreme Court ruled that laws requiring a woman's husband to be notified of a wife's planned abortion were also UNCONSTITUTIONAL!

Since you obviously don't understand big words, let me explain "unconstitutional" to you. Here, it means neither the Federal Government, nor any of the 50 states and U.S. Territories can pass a law allowing or compelling what the Court has prohibited.

My comment of 6/29/15 stands unchallenged, please apologize now.

Google the following two U.S. Supreme Court cases to see how wrong you are:

Planned Parenthood vs. Danforth, 428 U.S. 52, 96 S. Ct. 2831; 49 L.Ed. 2d 788; 1976 U.S. LEXIS 13 (1976).

Planned Parenthood vs. Casey, 505 U.S. 833,

112 S. Ct. 2791; 120 L. Ed. 2d 674; 1992 U.S. LEXIS 4571 (1992).

Its just fucking story its not real.If you don't like the stories then why do you morons keep reading and commenting on them