All Comments on 'Possession'

I wanted to enjoy your story, but issues got in the way.

"sweetheart" is one word. "MVP" is always capitalized.

Your sentence structure doesn't flow. Don't end a sentence with a proposition.

Is English not your native language?

I hope you don't think I'm being harsh. Writing a good story is hard. Keep trying.

Have to agree with the previous commenter. I like where you were going with your story, but it was in serious need of some proofreading / editing. Keep at it! I'm sure you'll get better.