by moleman2787
Good story, but in many states her misuse of a pediatric drug on her children would have put her in court to deal with charges. Child protective services would have denied access to her children pending investigation and even put the father on a short leash for letting it continue. After all, he recorded her essentially confessing. If this had been dealt with in the divorce, this would be a solid 5, but I gave it a 4 because not reporting it as a form of child abuse would get the lawyer into trouble potentially.
This had potential to be more. I enjoyed it abs it started great. The emotion and drama were intense. Then the end just felt like boop boop boop, done. The characters were pretty well developed, except for Dad. Even in the big gotcha scene, he's barely mentioned. How could a man do this to his son? And then you let him literally just walk away. He definitely needed some consequences.
Still though, pretty good effort. I liked it.
4 stars
This was a pretty good story, but it felt rushed at the end. One thing I noticed is that he wanted custody of the girls and limited child support. If he has custody of the girls, he doesn't have to pay child support. Also, if she was drugging the girls to have sex with her father-in-law, that's a felony. She could have been put in jail.
How'd she avoid jail time and why does he have to give her child support?
She drugged her kids, that has got to be illegal.
Sorry but no judge is going to give him custody just because she gave her kids Benadryl. And the revenge was 2 pages, longer then her affair.
I agree with @Tx77Tumbleweed...That is the weak point of this story! In any country she would be judge by her crime against the children and would never be with them alone ever again!
started out well, but not much of an ending. also, nothing happened to the slut for drugging her kids. Went from a 4* to a 2.5*.
I enjoyed this. I think the father deserved more punishment though. And Lynn should have been charged with child abuse for endangering her girls by drugging them. And if she was given any visitation it should be supervised. She honestly doesn't seem fit to be alone with her children.
Not bad but she was drugging her children. No way she gets liberal visitation rights when endangering her children to have an affair.
Sighs.... Sorry Creeper but it is not. It is his word against hers that it was not needed. Remember it was recommended by their pediatrician. He would NOT get custody for that, PERIOD full stop. The rest of it was pretty pedestrian and rather uninspired. This whole category is pathetic at best. Stoney it one thing to accuse someone of giving an over the counter drug to a child for some purpose but it is completely another to prove some illegal act. Hell I have done that just to get to watch a movie or have a quiet dinner with my partner and if you have children and say you have not, you are fooling yourself.
So the part about drugging the kids, remember the affair has been going on for about a year. Go look up the prolonged effects of using Benadryl. Not "fries your liver" sort of thing but definitely something the kids should not be subjected to. She got off way too easy. There should be criminal charges for this and the grandfather should be charged as an accessory.
So many holes in this story. DNA tests? What happened with them? Drugging the kids? That’s a felony child abuse charge. The father would be an accessory. Did she end up pregnant? Oh well, could have been worse.
This one was a good theme. It is like she suffered from a constant TIA. Would have been nice if mom would have used some of the Nest Egg to have dads balls ruined for life…
good premise but needed more on drugging kids, and proof of it.
more on revenge for father.
Not sure why she would be upset about divorce, sort of asking for a divorce.
Surprisingly, a few people survived this double betrayal. Cheating is bad enough, but drugging the children should have at the least put her in prison.
A cliche filled cheating wife story. It was devoid of any real emotion. It should do well with the BTB fetishists. After all it was written for 8th grade level readers
This one started out decent and the story line itself is good. However, the actual story went off the rails into stupidity, which was sad.
As many have mentioned below, you left a lot of threads unresolved, which is simply bad storytelling.
You also had some technical goofs. He was seeking full custody and to only pay limited child support? Why would he pay child support when he has custody (and thus the expenses)? A bit more obscure, but you cannot legally serve your own spouse divorce papers. His serving his father on behalf of his mother was legal, but not his serving his own wife. Then, the judgement goes beyond alimony and includes job training? Sorry, but no.
To the anonymous below who says that he couldn't prove that she was mistreating their kids by drugging them. He has her own words in at least two recordings stating that she was drugging the kids so they would be asleep when her FiL got there. Of course, this also emphasizes another plot hole in the story. She drugs the kids before grandpa arrives so they won't know he was there (or what he was doing while he was there), but he stayed for too long for them to be asleep the whole time. Considering he did this on multiple occasions, how did the kids never mention seeing their grandpa to their dad or ask why they don't get to see grandma as often as grandpa? You know, all those pesky things that would break the story.
way to many plotholes and "to stupid to be belivable" moments (Drugging the kids... really? That alone would be an felony, no visitation rights and no alimony)
But other than that you have an good writing style
Turning and Harley below hit the nail on the head. It just wasn't a very good story, although I awarded three stars for "Average".
JPB
John blew a golden opportunity to start an incestuous relationship with his mom.
Ehmm, limited visitations? Jeez, even if you are stupid enough to agree to that, I highly doubt that authorities would allow it, more so, they would question you as a parent as well, and there should be criminal charges for her
@Huedogg2
Why would you be paying alimony if you have custody of the kids? -7
Surely you know the difference between alimony and child support.
Huedogg2
Why would you be paying alimony if you have custody of the kids? -
Surely you know the difference between alimony and child support.
lol .. women always say "I don't know why I did it, I loved you, I was happy, I still love you" !!!!
Well I can answer that for ALL of you cheating persons:
(1) You did it because you are a piece of shit, there is no great mystery.
(2) No you did not love them
(3) No you were not happy (comfortable maybe but not happy)
(4) No you don't love anyone but yourself
She doesn't know the definition of the word "LOVE", lets get something straight, caring and love are NOT the same thing. In fact I believe most people don't have a clue what the word LOVE means.
Your writing style is bizarre - it's hard to keep track of what people are saying vs what they're thinking.
Drugging the kids and "John" didn't immediately intervene and confront her and the father before ther next fuckfest? Yes, I know that the author wanted the dramatic confrontation, but in real world, John has a parental duty to protect the children and prevent further drugging of the children, especially since the story suggests that wife is giving larger doses of Benadryl in order to keep them knocked out. And why doesn't he report her to the police? Why does he not prohibit any contact with the slut? She is a danger to them and even in hell-holes like the Caifornia courts, most judges would issue either a no contact order or at the least, supervised visits. So, shocking premise that is pretty well done but husband is way too nice to the slut.
too much of the "I don't know why I did that" and the drugging of the kids was a bit nasty bit of child abandonment. I think Lynn's settlement and consequences should have been more harsh. Judge should have delivered a harsh and foul humiliating diatribe on how unfit Lynn was to be a mother and order counselling. I'd hope a judge or some child protective services would have prevented visitation over the wife's Benadryl babysitting habit until see completed some humiliating counselling.
The father, he got no consequences out of this really. He only ran away like a coward and lost some money. Should have at least had him cut off by his friends or had some of them kick his ass when they suspected or found out he was fucking one of their wives.
Probably should be in a different category but at least there was a little sex in it. Tag it with BTB too.
Well she deserved all she got. caught the selfish bug and overdosed on it. Good girl, bad girl, both brainless I'm surprised John didn't get a sniff of dual personalities earlier in the marriage. Sex toys on the credit card should have been a give away.
Good story well written
wtf is the point of this story, is it some weird revenge fantasy of a cheating wife?? This is an erotica site, maybe try theraphy or just a journal...
Well thought out plot. Check
Interesting true to life characters. Check
Content that will fully involve the reader. Check
Proof reading. Needs a proof reader.
Overall quality. Excellent
Rating 4.5 and up.
She's got her father-in-law's dick shoved all the way up her ass, and she says- 'It's not what it looks like." Who you gonna believe? Me or your lying eyes? Lol.
Much better than the proposal, which I commented on a few minutes ago. $ stars cd
Seems over the top, even for Femdom agitprop. Yet, things like this and much worse are reported everyday in the News.
4.5 stars. Dinged 0.5 for lack of proper punishment for her. She gets large alimony, AND medical from him, AND he covers her training, AND he got her a new apartment AND she got liberal visitation **after drugging her own children**. She belongs in jail with 10 year old restraining order, not with "liberal visitation". LITERALLY the only thing she lost was her husband's presence, which clearly wasn't of value to her based on her behavior; and ability to live in a good house.
The old trope where she wants to be bad with someone else because the one she claims to love only sees her as good. Gimme a break. Utter poppycock. She enjoys the thrill of it, is selfish as fuck, and is delusional enough to think she can have her cake and eat it without consequences for as long as she wants. She's beyond help. Cunts like this need to be quarantined from the rest of the population. Same goes for the dad.
Why wasn't she arrested for drugging the little girls? Left a big hole i9n the story