by Satyasri
As I got to the end I realised that this was set in India, and obviously English is not your first language. I know that Indians tend towards the flowery side of things, but this was truly excruciating to read.
In his profile it says he is from India, which was terribly apparent half way through this unreadable 'writing'. No body speaks that way, maybe its lost in translation? From the part I read it was NOT romance, it is time Laurel or whoever it is that runs this site stuck to their own rules about posting in the RIGHT category.
Well begun! Keep going. You will keep improving as you continue writing. Cheers!