by NotWise
not even close i had to read it all just to be disappointed in the end
5E7F
I love your inclusion of the mystic elements. You must keep this going. Ignore the nay-sayers: you notice the little weasels can't sign a name and usually can't write a coherent sentence. We all need and use constructive criticism but negativity without anything constructive is just the ranting of a shallow and weak mind.
Keep up the good work and thank you for sharing.
Cums right after he enters. Hmmmmmm! sounds all to familiar.
Cums right after he enters, sounds all to familiar to me!
I like this story, Grammer and minor mispells aside. This, at least I thought, was not the mundane at a lake and we fucked or the ever over used I walked by the bathroom to catch my hot as fuck sister naked... AND there was no bro and sis shit ending each dialog sentence. I liked the spiritual aspect cause its not overdone and it makes it harder to anticipate what your writing.
My hope is that you truly are wise and can smoothly tie a continuation in and proverbially bring it all home. It be a real shame to ruin the imagination and touch of ancient culture with a bad / clunky ending!
The only thing I didn't like is it is not long enough. Please continue!
The story was so strong that I never noticed any mistakes in grammar. Would like to read more of how the two explore the spirits and each other.
It was good but left me on a cliff hanger I want to know more
it was courageous and filling my I played with my self but needs more imfo
Please, give this a proper ending!!! This definitely needs to be completed, not left as a cliff-hanger!!
I love the story, it's believable with a twist of voodoo. Please continue with a follow-on.
A very well written story, but, given the rather abrupt cliche cliffhanger ending, I would hope that there is more to "cum".
Perfect I think. This is my second comment I've ever made, I'm native and have an animalistic urge to do what I do without knowing.... please let this story continue. For it is lovely and hits oh so close to home. Sweet sweet and happy and suspenseful.... just the way life can be and has been... I'm licking my fingers now.
This story really grabbed my attention right from the start. I have questions and can't wait to start the next part.
Really grabbed me. I am looking forward to what comes. I lived in Roswell the winter of 67/68. Your story allowed me to go back to that beautiful dry cold. Thanks