My Brother Broke Me

"Well, I mean, it's only been a few days," Gavin said, "I'm sure that, when the urge actually arrives, by then you'll have an idea of how to deal with it."

I shook my head.

"You already have the urge?"

"Had," I said, "Continue to have. Like, a lot."

"And you don't have a solution?"

"Actually, I do," I said. I reached over and took his hand in mine.

Gavin's eyes slowly grew wider. His mouth gaped open at the same speed. Like there was a string on the back of his head and someone was slowly pulling on it.

"Cassidy..."

"Don't," I said, "Don't do it. Don't judge me. Whatever happened in my bedroom last week, you have to admit it was at least partially your fault. And then everything else with this week and what's happened and today."

"Today?" Gavin asked, like he was legitimately perplexed.

"You know what I mean," I said, "Taking me out for that awesome time, being all boyfriend-y. You knew what you were doing."

Gavin didn't say anything. Stared down at the bedspread. But he nodded, solemnly.

"Right. So, you don't get to sit there and give me the 'but we're siblings' speech or the 'I don't think you should do that' speech. Give me the other one. The 'good brother' speech where you understand what I'm going through and how much courage it takes to say all these things out loud and then help me."

Gavin looked up and caught my eye. We looked at each other, shocked. Both of us equally surprised I'd spoken those words. It felt like I'd opened my mouth and some other voice had spoken it for me. But I couldn't deny the truth of what I'd said.

Gavin swallowed like his saliva was made of sand. And then, once again, my hero of a brother strode forward.

"Yes, Cassidy, I'd love to help you," Gavin said, his conviction almost overpowering. "I'm honored that you're letting me be here for you." He smiled. Not in a cruel way or even desirous. Just friendly and warm. Wonderful.

I felt myself taken up by it. Carried away. I realized that it wasn't my brain that was doing all this to me -- making the concepts 'brother' and 'sex' wrap around each other like desperate lovers. It was my heart. My breath caught. My body stilled.

And then my brother reached for the waistband of my shorts.

Just like that first night when he'd undressed me, I gasped as Gavin grabbed at my buttons. Felt ticklish in my tummy. My older brother unsnapped my shorts and pulled them off my legs. Underwear and all. I was bottomless. Bare. Again, I wished I'd had the foresight to shave my hairy slit.

"It's not too bad, right?" I asked, so vulnerable I could scream. "I mean, down there?"

"It's very nice," Gavin said. "I mean, I've only seen a few others. OK one. Except on the Internet. But that doesn't count..."

"Gav," I said, warning.

"Right. Yours is definitely the nicest I've ever seen. Very cute and tidy."

"Except for all the, you know, the fur," I said.

"I like the fur," he said, "I think it's hot. You know, for a sister's... Anyway. I'm going to stop talking now."

"It's OK," I said, "I like you talking."

I was just getting used to the idea that my brother had been the first boy to ever see my secret spot, when suddenly my brother became the first boy to touch my secret spot. He put his hand, gently, on my pubis. Not even on my sex, itself. I gasped like I'd been burned.

"You OK?" Gavin asked.

"Yeah," I said, "Yes." Then the thought, strange and unbidden, came to me. "You, um, know what to do, right?"

"I've had some practice," Gavin said. This time he did give me a brash smirk, but it didn't make me feel upset at all. Quite the opposite, in fact. "But I'll do whatever you tell me. Promise."

My brother put his palm down, not even parting my lips, and pressed down. Rubbing. It felt nice. Little sparks shot through my body. He dipped his hand between my labia and traced his finger through, gently probing. That felt really nice. Not at all foreign or strange like I'd feared. Almost natural.

Gavin explored my sex and I groaned. I didn't mean to do it. The sound just slipped out.

"So far so good?" Gavin asked. So giving. Caring. His touch almost perfect and now I couldn't stand it any longer.

"Yes," I said.

"Remember, anything you want," Gavin said. I don't know what he was expecting, but my next request was definitely different than he'd guessed.

"Take your clothes off," I said. Gavin's touch faltered. "It's not, like, a sex thing. I mean, I'm sure you're sexy I just..." I guess it was my turn to ramble. "I feel weird being totally exposed and you being completely clothed."

Gavin nodded. He took his hand out of my sex, an unfortunate side effect, and lifted off his shirt. I gasped again. Holy heck, my brother was ripped! Like, I knew he'd gotten in good shape. I could see it just by how he stood. But wow. I had no idea. He had defined pecs and the beginnings of a six pack. A bit of brown hair covered his chest.

Gavin undid his belt and took off his pants. His legs were no less impressive. Thick thighs and bulging calves. My brother was a hunk. A stud.

Oh.

Even more than when he'd touched me, my mostly-naked brother was making me wet.

Gavin was down to his boxers now. "You want these off, too?" he asked.

I nodded. Speech was no longer in my skillset. Gavin pushed down his underwear. His thing -- erect, of course it was erect -- popped up. Dark pink. Long and thick. Like I said, I watched videos. My brother's penis was more than I'd ever anticipated.

Wait. Not a penis. Or a thing. My brother's cock. I tasted the word in my mouth, savoring it. I was staring at my brother's awesome cock which, wow. OK. And I'd thought I was worked up before.

Gavin eyed me kindly, like being naked in front of his little sister was totally natural. I pulled my shirt over my head to make things even. Gavin grinned even wider.

"I love your breasts," he said to me.

I looked down at my little lemons, dubious. Like there was anything there to love.

"I think they're really sexy," he said.

"I like your, um, your thing," I said, then quickly caught myself. "Your cock, I mean. It looks really, um, big."

"Kelly said it was too big," Gavin said. He couldn't look me in the eye as he said it. "She said it hurt her."

"First of all, I don't think that's a thing," I said, "Too big, I mean. A baby has to come out of me and you're not as large as all that. Besides, it's not like you have some ten-inch horse dick or whatever. It's just, you know, good sized. I'm sure it'd fit in me. Eventually. I mean, if we tried. If we were going to do such a thing which of course..."

"We're not going to do that," Gavin said, firmly.

"Because it would be wrong," I agreed, just as resolute.

"I'll just rub you now," Gavin said, "So you can feel better."

"And later," I said, "Later too."

"Because you'll feel this way again, of course," Gavin said, "And I'll do it. To take care of my baby sister. While she's injured."

"Right," I said, "And maybe you'll, you know, rub yourself. Too. Because you'll probably be all worked up from this."

"Am worked up," Gavin said, "Was. Am. Will be."

"Right," I said, "And I wouldn't want to leave you. Like that. And I can't do it for you, because of my wrist."

"I could go do it by myself, after," Gavin said, "If you wanted."

"No!" I said, "I mean, no. It wouldn't be fair. To me. To show you my... um, my peak. And not see yours."

"Totally good, clinical reasons," Gavin said.

"Right."

"To protect your purity."

"Of course," I said, "For me."

"For your husband," he said.

"For God," I said.

We stared at each other's bodies. Both sweating and panting like we'd been running for days. Gavin's face and chest were splotched crimson. My own body felt hot.

"Hey, um, Cassidy?"

"Yes?"

"Before, when we were on the bed and I was talking about Kelly? Right before you broke your wrist?" Gavin said.

"I remember," I said.

"I was trying to kiss you," Gavin said.

"I know," I said.

"It's just, I was so down about Kelly and you were there for me. Like you always are. And right then I realized how much I loved you. How beautiful and wonderful and special you are. Loved you more than I'd ever felt for Kelly. Or for any woman, honestly. My body took control. I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry."

"It's OK," I said, "I was feeling close to you then, too. You'd been gone for so long and, yeah, we still talk online or whatever, but it isn't the same. You're my best friend, Gavin. Having you back has been hard. Not cause you're here, but because I know you're going to leave again."

"I'll come back," Gavin said, "You're leaving too."

"Not that far," I said.

"Not that far," Gavin said. He leaned forward. His face was right above mine. I felt his naked body wrap around mine. Our lips touched.

Like I said, I'd had a couple of totally chaste, go nowhere boyfriends before that moment. Little stolen kisses that, in retrospect, they'd never earned. Jimmy Davis in the car. Kenny Holloway by the senior parking lot at school. Billy Katz on the front porch after prom. Nice boys, some of them handsome.

Not one of those kisses was anything like this.

As soon as my brother put his lips to mine, it was like a warm buzz that spread over my whole body. A thousand tingling bee stings that made the hair on my arms go straight and my tight little sex go liquid. Gavin kissed me and I felt dizzy with how hard my world flipped.

I kissed him back. Arms around his neck. Hanging on. I wanted to be closer. I pressed my tongue against Gavin's mouth, and he opened up. Our tongues twisted, hungrily. My taut nipples tickled against Gavin's chest hair. My brother's hardness pressed against my sex. We ground down on each other. Primal.

Finally, Gavin broke the kiss. Gasping. He licked down my neck and found my little breasts. I quickly discovered that my brother wasn't kidding when he said he loved my boobs. He worshipped at them, like they were the greatest things in the world. Suckled and bit at my nipples. If my body was burning before, it was a conflagration now. I found myself arching upward, trying to slip my brother's cock against my wetness.

My instincts kicked in. I reacted in the moment and there was nothing I could do about it. That's what caused all the trouble.

I reached down with my good hand and grabbed my brother's dick. It pulsed hot, in my palm. Don't think I didn't notice my dumb little purity ring, glinting against my brother's cock.

"We should stop now," Gavin said, "Before we go too far."

"Right," I said. I pushed his dick downward. Till the head nestled in my opening. I nearly creamed right there, as the crown pushed slightly against the tight ring of my unexplored sex.

"I'll rub you," he said. "You can rub me. Don't want to risk anything."

"Definitely not," I said. I slid my butt downward. That glorious, ginormous cock slipped forward. Just the tip. I felt my opening spread, achingly, to let him in. I considered that maybe Kelly was right -- maybe my brother was too big.

Gavin looked down at me with all the love in the world. He slid forward. Gently. I felt a pressure inside myself. Deep in my sex. The walls of my vagina clinging to my brother's cock for dear life. I dug my nails into his back. Gavin didn't even flinch.

He stopped about halfway in. I sat up to look and there it was, half his penis gone inside me like some cruel optical illusion. Only I could feel exactly where his dick had disappeared to.

"I'm going to need to push," Gavin said.

"I know," I said.

"It's going to hurt," he said. I nodded. My brother drew back slightly and slammed forward. His hardness faltered, then busted through. From halfway in to fully buried in one desperate, devastating push. That one little effort and brother was buried inside sister. The way no siblings ever should be.

Gavin groaned. I screamed.

My brother really did break me.

We both lay there, connected. Intimate in a way I'd never imagined. Tight and warm. Slick. Panting. I'd imagined I'd have all kinds of emotions in that moment: angry, upset, scared. Any of that. But I found to my surprise that none of those things were there.

Instead I felt wonderful. Like Gavin's love was radiating out of him and wrapping me tight. Comforting and incredible all at once.

"I love you," I told my brother. He kissed me.

"Love you too," he said.

"You want to move a little?" I asked, tentatively.

"Only when you're ready," Gavin said.

I smirked wickedly. Oh, I was more than ready.

Gavin drew back. He slid forward. It still hurt a bit, sore mostly, but another sensation overwhelmed all that. Pleasure. Wonderful, magical, incomprehensible pleasure. I could feel every vein and ridge of my brother's dick. The head of his cock plumbed my depths. I was completely in Gavin's control and I loved it beyond anything I'd ever experienced.

Gavin started moving faster. The animal urge overcame us both. My brother grunted as he thrust into me. I felt something building in the bottom of my stomach. In my sex. It was kind of like when I rubbed my clit, but deeper. Stronger. If before was beestings and small explosions, what was building in me now was like a nuclear bomb.

I reached between where my brother and I were connected and found my clit. With Gavin plowing into me, it didn't matter that I couldn't fully work myself with my left hand. It was enough. My nipples felt tight and I wanted someone to twist them. I told Gavin and he nipped at my little pink nubbins. It all felt so good.

"Cass," Gavin said, his voice a whisper, "Cassidy. I'm getting... Getting close."

In the moment I thought he was sharing with me, the way that lovers communicate in quiet whispers. What feels good, what doesn't. Gavin was telling me that my body was doing its job. My heart soared with happiness.

I didn't realize it was a warning.

Things like condoms or the pill, pulling out, they didn't occur to me. I wasn't considering that my brother was bareback in my unprotected sex. The thought that I was fertile didn't enter my mind. It didn't occur, in that moment, as my brother and I were having sex in my childhood bed, that we would make a baby together

Gavin felt so good. Watching what I did to him, I only wanted to see more. I wanted to feel him. Feel me. Nothing else mattered. I begged my brother to inseminate me. To put his seed in his sister.

"Cum Gavin," I said. Pleaded. "Cum in me."

Gavin's face cinched. His eyebrows knitted. His eyes rolled back. I strummed my clit as hard as I could. Somewhere in that transition, my brother and I stopped making love and started fucking.

My big brother was fucking me. Hard. The bed groaned and creaked. Our hips slapped together. The explosion was building inside of me, rising like nothing I'd ever felt before, and then suddenly I was gone.

The orgasm started at my clit, rose through my hips. My stomach. My arms.

"oh god," I squeaked. Because of course, who else would I invoke in that moment? Who else would I praise for my broken promise?

My sex squeezed down so hard on Gavin's cock, like I was trying to snap it off. Gavin jerked. Grunted. Said my name, then stilled. Something hot and wet splashed inside me. Whatever I was expecting to happen, it incomprehensibly tripled in power. And I was gone.

"Oh fffffffffffFFFFFFFFUCK!" I screamed. Mouth open. Eyes rolled back. Body tensed and trembling.

My brother spurted inside me. His cum splashed against my cervix. His sperm burst into my waiting womb. I rose off the bed, back arched, like I was possessed.

Gavin buried his head in my shoulder. The both of us writhed on the bed, soaked in each other's ecstasy. The pleasure was more than anything I could have imagined. My head exploded. My heart stopped. Nothing made sense in the world except my brother's body. Connected with mine. The two of us encased in intense, illicit bliss.

Finally, my body fell back. My brother's dick slipped limp out of my pussy, trailing lukewarm slime down my thigh. I fought the urge to beg him to put it back in.

I searched my brother's face. Needy. Gavin looked down at me. A huge, goofy grin. We kissed. Breathless.

I held up my left hand clearly, so Gavin could see it. Pulled the purity ring off my finger. Then threw it across the room.

It hit the wall so hard, there's still a dent where it cracked the paint.

*

Maybe I didn't get pregnant from that first time, although I like to think I did. Karma and all that. But, in truth, there were hundreds of other opportunities. After all, our parents were gone for an entire month. Plenty of time for Gavin and I to explore each other's bodies. There are lots of positions you can try, even with a broken wrist. My brother and I made sure to thoroughly experiment with each of them. You know, for science.

My parents came home from their trip in August. My cast came off in September. I came and came on my brother's cock. We didn't stop. Not when we both left for college. Not when my freshman roommate caught us on my dorm room bed. Not when I missed my period for the first time. Or the second.

When I came home for Thanksgiving, my belly was already practically bursting, I told my parents I'd had a drunken mishap with some frat boy. To be honest, I don't think they believed me. Gavin and I weren't exactly careful about our activities. I think we kind of wanted to get caught.

To be sure, Mom and Dad weren't happy about the whole thing. Pregnant, college-aged daughter without even a boyfriend in sight. But they didn't know what to do about it either. In the end, the lie served all our purposes, so we let it sit.

The night after I presented my pregnant self to my parents, I met up with Lilah for the first time since the summer. I didn't have to show her that my purity ring was long gone. I just pointed to my baby bump. My child.

My promise to the love of my life, my future husband -- my brother. The boy who finally broke me.