A Ticket to Ride

They made a beeline for the front of the house screaming, "Grandma," as they ran.

"I'm right here," I yelled after them. Kids are crazy. I guess they expected me to keep up with them. I suppose they forgot that their old granny would be fifty in a few years. But I was so happy that I tried to run to keep up with them. I don't think anyone could measure my surprise at what I saw as I rounded the corner to the front of the large house.

My grandchildren, screaming, "Grandma," ran right into the outstretched arms of some blond woman. My mind rebelled at the thought of them calling anyone that, except for me." Technically, I realized that my son in law, Greg, had a mother as well. She could also be their grandmother. But I'd met Greg's mother before she passed and this woman was nothing like her. She didn't even look old enough to be called Grandma.

She had long curly blond hair. Her hair was wet as if she'd been swimming. She had a long cover-up over whatever she was wearing. She kissed both of my grandchildren and pointed towards the deck.

I was in shock. I had no idea who this interloper was but I was pissed that she was attempting to usurp my title. I wasn't usually that rude but my thoughts sprang unbidden from my lips.

"What the fuck!" I said just loudly enough to be heard.

* * * * * *

Danny

"What the fuck!" I screamed far louder than I intended with my kids and grand kids running around the area. Instantly Selena was at my side calming me down. At the same time my daughter, Debbie stepped in front of her mother as if trying to prevent me from seeing her while I got my equilibrium back.

"It's okay, Honey," said Selena, soothingly.

"No it isn't," I yelled. "What the hell is she doing at my house? Who the fuck, invited her?"

Selena's pretty face screwed up and she grabbed me by my collar. "It's not just your house anymore, Danny. It's OUR house. And I invited her. Do you even know how much strain it puts on Debbie with the two of you being unable to even behave in a civil manner? The poor girl has to diplomatically decide which one of her parents to spend Christmas or Thanksgiving with. And the future is just as bad. She has two kids, Danny. They're your first set of grand kids. Do you want to have to miss out on half of their important moments because it's not our turn?"

Everyone had turned to watch Selena read me the riot act. My daughter Debbie was nodding with every word that Selena uttered, while my son in law tried to look away to spare me embarrassment.

"This is going to be uncomfortable for all of us," continued Selena. "Poor Debbie is probably upset now, because she doesn't want her Dad, angry at her for her part in this. Greg was already red with embarrassment even though he had no idea what was going on. Karen doesn't know me and doesn't know that I exist. So coming here and seeing me is probably a shock to her. And for me, Honey, I'm really afraid. You spent most of your life loving Karen. The only reason the two of us are together is because the two of you broke up. How do I know that the two of you won't get over your anger and...?"

"Because we won't," I said just loudly enough for her to hear. The tone in my voice clearly scared her, because she recoiled from me. That had never happened during all of our time together. I gently took her arm and pulled her around to the side of the house. She turned back to them.

"Debbie, you know where everything is. Make yourself at home. Get everyone comfortable while your dad and I talk. Greg, the new Mustang is in the garage. I'm sure Danny wants you to see it," she said before turning back to me.

"You're an idiot," I spat. I had never spoken to her that way and it clearly hurt her. "Selena, I love you more than anything on the planet. There is no way I would ever..." At moments like that words weren't enough. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her. I wrapped my arms around her minuscule waist and pulled us even closer together. She melted against me molding her body to my form as my hands drifted down to her well rounded hips, settling on her ass. She moaned and became almost boneless in my caress.

Behind us, I heard my grandson Tony, screaming, "Hey guys, Grandma and Grandpa are on the side of the house kissing!"

"Honey, just roll with it," she said. "Just pretend she isn't here. Do it for Debbie and your Grandkids. I just want everyone to be happy."

"Whatever," I said. I was still pissed about being dragged into it. I watched as Selena walked back to the front of the house and four children who were eager for her attention.

I took several deep breaths to calm myself before leaving the side of the house. As my anger faded and my hands stopped shaking, I thought back to the last time I'd seen Karen.

It was a little over three years ago. I was in bed with her spooned against me. We were warm and cozy and as soon as I regained consciousness, my mind tuned to her. I was a healthy forty five year old guy who had been in love with the same woman for more than twenty five years. My first waking thoughts were, "I'm awake," and "Where's Karen?"

Besides my conscious mind, even my body sought her. My arms wrapped more protectively and more lovingly around her. My morning wood tried to bury itself in her tiny ass. To make things even more intense, I had been out of town on a business trip for the past two days but even two days away from her was torture for me. I had gotten in late the previous night and she'd been asleep when I got in.

She'd moaned as I hugged her and immediately scooted away from me and rolled onto her back. She spread her legs and pulled me on top of her. My dick isn't huge, but Karen is really tiny below the waist. She clearly missed me because she wrapped her legs and arms around me and just started slamming her hips against me as if she couldn't wait.

"We have a lot of time to make up for, Mister," she growled. That was the last intelligible thing either of us said as we lost ourselves to the intensity of our coupling. Karen acted as if I'd been away forever, instead of just two days.

We quickly worked up a sweat and Karen let me know how much she missed me. Her screams and yodeling reverberated all over the house. Our daughter Debbie was out of the house and had kids of her own so there was no need for us to hold back.

After she was sated, I still had to pee so I got out of bed. "Aren't you going to get up and shower with me?" I asked.

"Unh uh" she said. "I don't have to be up for about an hour. I'm going to lie here and enjoy our smell. I leaned over and squeezed one of her enormous boobs. I dropped to my knees beside the bed and starting sucking one of her nipples.

"Maybe you should get back in here with me," she smiled. "Go pee and come back and do me again."

I went to the bathroom with exactly that thought in my mind. I loved Karen. To me her body was a work of art. Her thin legs and tiny ass didn't fit her boobs and upper body, but most guys couldn't look past her boobs. But it was more than that. I loved her personality, her spirit and everything else about her. Karen had her moods and her idiosyncrasies like everyone else, but I only loved her more for them.

"Put the God damned seat back down," she screamed after I flushed the toilet in the connected bathroom. I decided to surprise her with the gift that I'd bought her, while I was out of town.

I went downstairs and looked for the suitcase that I'd left her gift inside of. On my way to the suitcases, I passed the hall table where we usually left the mail. I opened a couple of the envelopes and then bolted back up the stairs.

I slammed the door of our bedroom open as hard as I could. The door rocketed away from me so hard that it slammed into the wall. The spring loaded door stopper snapped and the doorknob imbedded itself in the dry wall.

Karen sat straight up in bed. Her eyes were as big as saucers.

"What's...?" she began.

"Who the fuck, is he?" I yelled.

"Who's who?" she asked, stupidly.

"The guy you've been fucking!" I screamed.

"But I haven't been..." she muttered. She stopped before even completing the sentence as she saw the look on my face. I was angrier than I had ever been on my entire life. My blood boiled. My heart was beating at almost three times its normal speed. I understood at that moment why so many men have heart attacks when they find out that their wives have been unfaithful to them.

I had never struck Karen or any woman in my life. But at that moment if she had told me another lie, I'm not sure if I'd have been able to hold myself back.

For most of my life I had always looked down on men who hit women. But at that moment I understood Mike Tyson's quote about how the best punch he ever threw was at Robin Givens. I imagined myself driving my fist into Karen's face so hard that it went completely through her head, coming out the back. I saw myself having to use my feet on her chest to get my arm out of her shattered skull.

I've heard that old wives tale about how you can' trust turn love off and on. They are totally wrong. Because when my blood started to boil, it burned away every iota of love I felt for Karen.

I think that she understood the danger she was in, then. But maybe she didn't. Maybe, she thought that what we were having was simply another of those run of the mill arguments that every couple goes through.

But she looked in my eyes and she saw two things. The first was the barely, and I mean barely contained rage, burning inside of those eyes that had previously only ever shown love when it came to her. And the second thing was that I knew. She could tell that I already had proof of my accusation so her protests and denials would only hurt her.

So she did the typical things that all cheaters do. She started to cry. She broke down in heart-felt sobs. She sobbed out her sorrow and her regret. She looked up at me and noticed that her entire demonstration had fallen on deaf ears though. I was totally unmoved.

"Danny, it's not what you think," she sobbed.

"It didn't mean anything. I swear it," she said.

"I think you fucked another man," I said. "And I think it means the end of our marriage and our family, not to mention our happiness and any chance of us growing old together."

Apparently, I wasn't the only one in distress, because she passed out when I said that. I was still really pissed and I wanted answers. So I went into the bathroom and scooped a cup of water out of the toilet. I went back into the bedroom and threw it in her face to revive her. As she sat back up with water running down her face, trying to wipe it out of her eyes and snort it out of her nose, I had only one regret.

I wished with all of my heart that I hadn't flushed that toilet earlier.

"I'm only going to ask you one more time," I said.

"But you have to let me explain," she whined. "It..." She looked at my face and changed her tactics. "You don't know him. He's one of the new lawyers at work and..." I lifted one eyebrow higher.

"His name is Bradley Martin and he..." I just turned and walked away from her. She got up and started to follow me. But I turned and growled at her.

"Sit your ass back on that bed, Karen," I yelled. "Don't get up. Don't get dressed. Don't even go to pee. If you go anywhere, or call anyone, we're done. I'm going out for a drive to think about this and decide what I want to do next. At the same time you need to figure out what you want and whether or not we have a future."

As the door slowly opened I was even angrier. I snatched a bottle of turtle wax leather cleaner off to the shelf and wiped down the front seats of my Mustang.

The car, an 09' 45th anniversary GT was my pride and joy. It was surpassed in my affections only by my wife and daughter. But the way I felt that morning, it had moved up the list a notch. Even after using almost a quarter of the bottle on the front seats, the car still felt tainted. I got in finally and drove away.

I had no idea where I wanted to go when I found myself on the freeway. As I drove, I thought about my relationship with Karen. Part of the thing that made me so angry was the fact that she was always warning me about keeping it in my pants when I was away for business. I didn't travel much. But she reminded me every time I was away.

Karen and I had a long and wonderful life together. Many of the couples we knew from college had either never married, or had married and then divorced. We intended to grow old together. We'd been together for over twenty years. We'd had and raised a beautiful daughter together and had two tiny grandchildren. We were so close to having it, that I could see the dual rocking chairs on the porch.

Obviously the whole fidelity thing was a one way proposition in Karen's mind. I was supposed to be faithful and she got to do whatever she wanted. If she thought that we could fix this, like putting a band aid over an ouchy, she was crazy. I got off of the freeway and got back on going in the other direction. I put my foot down hard on the skinny pedal on the right. Before I knew it my speed was approaching and then passing 100 miles an hour. I got off of the freeway in front of an office building in the middle of the downtown area.

I waved at the guards and walked into the building. I took the elevator up to the fourth floor and walked into a large office suite. There were several desks with secretaries and assistants and paralegals working. Several of them smiled at me as I entered the office.

I waved at an older gray haired and bearded man in the corner office. He got up to meet me. "Hi John," I said.

"Danny, you don't look so good," he said. "What can I do for you? That wife of yours worked pretty late last night. She's not due in until eleven. Wait a minute. I get it. She said you were going to be out of town until today. You stopped to see her on your way home, didn't you?"

"Not quite," I said. "I need two lawyers."

He took a sip of his coffee and then sputtered. "Did you say two lawyers?" He asked.

"Yep," I said.

"Danny, I'll handle your case myself and..." he began. I shook my head.

"John, you can't be either one of them, but I appreciate the offer," I said. "It'll all make sense in about fifteen minutes." He looked at me strangely but didn't say anything.

He pressed a button on his phone and spoke into it. "Lauren, can you come in here?" he said.

A few moments later a slim young woman walked into the office. She was about thirty years old and the resemblance was too close to be a coincidence.

"Yeah, she's my daughter, Lauren," he said. "But trust me. She's the best attorney on my staff. Now for your second lawyer, I think..."

"For my second lawyer, I already have someone in mind. Bradley Martin is the guy I need," I said.

John's face looked surprised. I turned to his daughter. "How much do I have to give you for a retainer?" I asked.

"Just give me fifty bucks for lunch and I'm all yours," she smiled.

"Where do you eat lunch?" I asked.

"If you weren't married, believe me I'd show you," she said as I handed her a bill.

"So now you're officially my lawyer, right?" I asked. She smiled and nodded her head.

"Are you going to give my partner fifty bucks too?" she asked offering me another of those dazzling smiles.

"What partner?" I asked.

"Bradley," she said pointing at a guy sitting at a desk near the window. He was talking on a telephone as she pointed at him.

"You don't have a partner," I said. "Your first job is to get me out on bail."

"Bail...you're not even in jail. What did you do?" she asked.

"Nothing yet," I said. "But gimme five minutes..."

I left the office and went across the floor. I picked the base of the telephone up and slammed it against Bradley's head so hard that it cracked. He fell over out of the chair and got up, dazed.

"Why the hell did you do..." was all that he got out before my left jab caught him in his right cheek and snapped his head back. Immediately after that my right cross broke his nose and knocked him on his ass. He got up onto his hands and knees then. He looked at me with blood running down his mouth and cheeks.

"Let me explain," he said. "It didn't mean..."

"I'm tired of people trying to explain things," I said. I kicked him in the ribs as hard as I could. I felt and heard a snapping sound and he collapsed onto his side holding his flank where I had kicked him. Someone had called security and they ran into the room. Before they could get anywhere near me I kicked him again. That time I kicked him in the nuts. One high pitched scream later and he passed out. I sat down on a desk nearby and held out my hands for the security guards.

"Danny, why did you attack Brad?" asked one of the guards.

"He screwed Karen. He ruined my life," I said. I held out my hands. "Call the police. Take me to jail. I already have a lawyer.

"No...I don't want to press charges," groaned Brad. "Just get me to a hospital please."

Brad was a smart one. He knew that I wanted to go to jail because if I was booked there'd be a record of it and questions would be asked. I could go on record with the reason for the assault on him being the affair between him and Karen. The assault couldn't hurt me since I owned my own business. But having the affair with a co-worker on record, could affect his reputation as a lawyer and he might even be brought up on ethics violations with the local bar association.

The two security guards picked him up and took him out of the office. John gestured for me to rejoin him in his office.

"Danny, there were better ways that you could have handled that," said John.

"But probably not nearly as satisfying, I'll bet," said Lauren. "I should have done that myself. It would probably make paying alimony to that worthless piece of shit, less painful."

"You're divorced?" I asked. She nodded.

"What did you do to Karen?" she asked. I looked at her in confusion.

"I mean she betrayed you, not him. You must've felt like busting her up too, right?" she asked.

"I don't think I'm capable of hitting a woman," I said. "I thought about it, though. That was why I left her at the house and came here."

"Well, since you're not going to jail, I guess you no longer need a lawyer," she said.

"I'll still need you for the divorce," I said. Her eyes went up.

"Danny, maybe you need to think about this first," she said. "Today was the first time I've met you. But I've known Karen for a while and that woman loves you. You don't even know why she did it."

"Do you?" I asked.

"I kind of think I do," she spat. "It's something that women go through. Karen is what now, about forty five, right? She's going through something that men are never going to understand. She's always been that woman that men wanted and other women were jealous of. She's always had those big old boobs and those long legs too, right?"

I nodded angrily. "Well, Danny, Karen has reached the age where things are changing for her and not in a good way. Her body is producing far fewer eggs now and very soon she won't have any left at all. She's losing her ability to do a woman's greatest task. Soon she won't be capable of making babies. It doesn't mean shit to a man. Even a decrepit eighty year old guy can get a woman pregnant. But for a woman, that is not a great time in life. She begins to doubt herself and even whether or not men still find her sexy."

"That's bullshit," I said. "I tell her that I love her everyday and we..."

"And you two have sex all the time. And you tell her she's the sexiest thing to ever walk the earth, right?" she asked. I nodded.

"Danny, I'm sorry. You're probably a great husband, but those things don't mean much coming from you. You're supposed to tell her those things and you're supposed to have sex with her. You're married to her. She needs to hear it from strangers. And being around here is no help. Every spring there's a whole new crop of young beautiful interns for her to compete with for the attention of the men in the office. With her in a vulnerable place like that, a little flattery could get her in a lot of trouble. It doesn't mean that she's a bad person or that she doesn't love you. It just means that she made a mistake, that's all."