The Sultanah Ch. 07

"Move your arm!" I gurgled finally, "I will explain everything, just stop." I could barely understand what I was saying, but the girl seemed to sense that I had relaxed. I was no longer fleeing from her and she wanted to know what I said. Her forearm eased back from my throat and I heard her breathing quietly.

"Thank you," I said.

"How did I get here? Where am I? Are you one of the raiders from Dusman? Where are you taking me? There are women in the raiders? Why did you do that? Oh Gunes!" The girl blurted all at once. I slowly pulled myself up into a sitting position on the bed. The girl's arms had become weak and they seemed to slip off of me now. She placed her face in her hands and cried.

"Please calm yourself and remain quiet," I said, "I will explain whatever I can, but you must get a hold of yourself." I said. The girl's breath hitched. She looked at me coolly, but nodded her head. I took a deep breath and quickly explained where we had found her and where, generally, we had taken her. I did not know the name of the village I was in, but I explained it was apparently 7 miles from where she lived. I said that she had been unconscious and had allowed her to sleep in my bed. She looked confused as I spoke.

"Are you here to destroy this village too? Will you burn it to the ground in the morning? Will you kill everyone?" she asked. Her words poured forth bitterly and tear raised in her eyes as she spoke. Her body was shaking with rage.

"Destroy?" I said shaking my head, 'No...No of course not. We are not raiders from Dusman."

"Well who in Gunes name are you to be here? Mercenaries? My family once had money, for ransom. If you have not already stolen it," she said, looking around nervously. It was clear that she was still very much on edge, trying to figure out what had happened to her. But her anger was also apparent.

"I am Sultanah Varis, I bring a contingent of soldiers from Şehir to rout the raiders," I said, but I felt sick as I spoke. Whatever the goal had once been, I now intended to participate in a rout. Regardless, the girl's eyes grew wide.

"Sultanah?" she asked, her eyes strafing me and her mouth hanging open.

"That is correct," I said. For a brief moment a hint of a smile flashed across her face, then an expression of mortification.

"Oh Gunes, what have I done?" she asked herself. Instantly she threw her head forward onto the bed, holding her hands out in front of her. She pressed her forehead into the blankets, her body was shaking all over, "Forgive me Sultanah, for the offense I have given you. I did not know it was you when I attacked. I thought you were an enemy. I apologize for the familiar way in which I have spoken to you...I have never been taught how to speak to one so...exalted. Please forgive me, oh Gunes..." All the while she spoke, I tried to calm her, patting her gently on the back.

"I took no offense, I brought you here. I knew that you were ignorant of my identity and reasonably scared," I said, trying to soothe her. Finally, she began to calm herself. I could still hear her crying, but her breathing calmer.

"I apologize nonetheless. Please, allow me to leave this lace and I will never bother you again," she said, starting to rise slightly, with her head still bowed.

"No!' I ordered and she stopped moving instantly, "You are not permitted to leave."

"Whatever your wish Sultanah. You may take my life for the offense I gave you. I no longer desire it anyway," she said, her body shaking slightly. I let out a soft sigh and placed my hand girl's arm. She flinched slightly.

"I do not desire your death," I said calmly, "I simply did not want you to run off. I want you to sit up, I want you to speak to me calmly. Speak to me familiarly, I will not be offended." The girl stayed cowering for a moment, as if she was not sure if this was some sort of trick. She turned her head to the side and let out a low breath.

"Perhaps I am already dead," she said more to herself than to me, "nothing this day has felt real."

"Then you are in no danger from me," I said, "Sit up, look me in the eye, tell me your name, and then tell me what happened to you this day? What has caused this turmoil in you?" The girl's body went stiff for a moment and I heard a ragged, crying breath. She sat up slowly, onto her knees next to me. Her hair was slightly disheveled and her breast was still exposed in her dress, but she did not seem to notice it. She looked forward with glassy eyes, seemingly unsure of what to do next.

"That is an order from your Sultanah," I said calmly. If I had known then the story I had just ordered her to relate, I would not have forced the issue. Nonetheless, the girl nodded slowly and turned towards me. She was still shaking but her voice, as she spoke, sounded less high-pitched and terrified. In fact, she seemed almost mechanical in her speech.

"My name is Mülteci, and I awoke this morning expecting a double celebration. Today was the occasion of my 19th birthday and, as decided in the contract my family had signed with the Mayor, it was to be my wedding day," she started. As she spoke this, she hung her head slightly and shrugged her shoulders. It seemed only the knowledge that I had ordered her to speak kept her speaking.

"My family, while somewhat prosperous, had made an exceptionally good bargain in marrying their eldest daughter to the son of the Mayor. He might have married a wealthier woman, a woman with property. But Kırık and I had been friends since childhood. He believed me to be the most beautiful girl in the village. He had demanded that his father arrange a marriage to me when we were still children. We had never wavered in our dedication to one another.

"Many girls with marriage contracts have, at best, mixed feelings on the day of their wedding. I was elated. I felt as though I had been waiting for that day my entire life. I awoke early and my mother braided my hair. She was happy as well. She was excited for grandchildren and for the prestige that would come with my match. She had spent months sewing me a beautiful white dress for the occasion, far finer than anything I had ever owned before," as she said this Mülteci looked down at the tattered remains of her clothes. A tear fell from her eye and landed on the grayed fabric. She wiped the tear away with her thumb, showing the bright white color that it had once possessed. She shook her head and continued.

"Before donning my dress, a traditional family breakfast was prepared. My father had slaughtered a goat the previous day. He was so proud of me, I had always been his favorite. And he toasted me shamelessly while we ate. My younger brother and two younger sisters seemed infected by my parent's enthusiasm. Whatever rivalries we had in the past had slipped away as we enjoyed the bittersweet moment as we ate one last meal together before I left the family to join my husband.

"After eating, my mother and sisters helped me into my dress and we exited my house. The entire village was invited to my wedding and as we emerged on the street, familiar faces surrounded me on all sides. Everyone was so excited about the party and the women complimented me on my beauty. The men congratulated my parents on the match they had negotiated. I floated on air through the narrow streets of town. Everything was decorated for the wedding. Every home held a wreath and the streets were strewn with flowers. As I moved toward the town hall, the people followed behind me, as was tradition. My father and mother stood at either side and my brother and sisters followed closely behind." Mülteci seemed almost in a trance now, her voice building toward something. It was not so much that she was telling me a story, instead she was reliving it. I felt myself holding my breath, unable to do anything but absorb the intensity of her story.

"We turned into the main square in town. I could see the mayor standing by the town hall, wearing his ceremonial robes. He was smiling broadly. If he had ever wanted a 'better' match for his son, he had long since reconciled himself to me. He was a good man and his son's happiness was far more important that advancement.

"His son, my Kırık, was standing by his side," Mülteci's voice caught as she said his name, "Was standing beside his father. He look uncomfortable in his formal clothing but excited nonetheless. He was looking down at his shoes, nervously. He must've heard the commotion as the villagers followed me into the square. His head rose. I saw his bright eyes and his knowing smile play across his face and..." Mülteci paused for a long while now. I could see the candlelight in my quarters playing across her eyes and I watched the tears slip down over her cheeks.

"And I saw the arrow pierce that smile. I watched as it emerge from his mouth, shattering the four teeth in his mouth. I watched as his eyes grew wide and blood poured from his lips. I saw him fall to the ground. No longer moving." Once again she paused, her shoulders shaking wildly. I could not speak, I waited for her to continue.

"It took a long time to understand what had happened. After a moment, I heard my voice scream, but it sounded like it was coming from someone else. I began to run. I ran pell mell across the square, running toward Kırık. His father had already dropped to his knees next to him. But before I could take more than few steps out towards my fallen fiancé, they were upon us.

"Riders seemed to come from every direction. Their swords and clubs were drawn and they descended on us all at once. I heard the clatter of hooves and the laughs of evil men. Then I heard the screams. We had all been massed together for the wedding. It seemed like we had acted purposefully, to make it easy for them. Whatever those raiders did, wherever they thrust their blades, they seemed to hit someone. I saw people falling to the ground around me, their guts spilled by sharpened blade. I turn around quickly. In time to see my mother and father killed by different men at nearly the same moment. My father's throat was cut and he fell forward quickly. My mother was not as lucky. A blade pierced her stomach and she fell forward into the dirt, screaming wildly. A horse trampled her head underfoot," As Mülteci spoke, she seemed to withdraw inside of herself.

"My siblings..." she paused, "I never saw what happened to them. I pray to Gunes that they are still alive. I wanted to run to them. Or to my fiancé. But all was confusion then. Horses were everywhere and the ground grew churned and muddy from the free flowing blood and dirt churned by hooves. Without thought, I began to run. I did not know where I was going, I was just trying to leave the village. The panic...I couldn't even think. I was thrown to the ground several times, but I kept rising and trying to escape. I saw friends and neighbors falling dead all around me.

"After a short time, I made my way out of the square and into the streets beyond. My eyes began to burn and my vision became blurred. I felt heat all around me. I realized that the village was being razed. The raiders were fanning out in the streets behind me, so I tried to run faster.

"I reached the edge of the village and made my way across a field leading towards the woods. I knew the woods from childhood, if I could make it there I could elude anyone. But just as I reached the edge of the forest, I felt a hand slap against my back. It was a man on horseback. He hit me at full speed and I fell on my stomach onto the ground. The man was a leader of a squad and several other horsemen were standing with him. He dismounted quickly while I was still disoriented, trying to rise again. The other men followed his lead.

"I remember the leader, the man who knocked me down, said something lewd about my white dress. The dress my mother had made for me," Mülteci spoke in a way that indicated she remembered what the man had said, but could not bring herself to repeat it.

"While I was still dazed the man jumped on me. He grabbed at my ankles, pinning me to the ground. The other men ran to me as well. I felt their hands on my arms and stomach. They tore at my dress and laughed as I screamed. I tried to wiggle away, but the men were too strong. I could smell the alcohol on their breath and I knew they were drunk. They traded jokes back and forth and after a moment, while I began to wail, they started to pull their cocks from their trousers. I felt panic rising inside of me and vomited in the grass next to the men. Rather than slowing them, this seemed to entice them further. They began to pull my legs apart.

"I do not know how it happened, but they began to argue over who were rape me first. The captain claimed some right by virtue of his leadership. A larger man argued that he had not been given the opportunity to 'have' any women during their previous raid. The drunk men began to physically fight with one another. Pushing and shoving. Other men released me, their hard cocks bouncing obscenely, and they moved towards the fight, to break it up. The men on both of my arms released me.

"There remained only one man crouching against one of my legs. He held me tightly so that I could not leave, but his eyes were averted. He was watching the fight. In fact, he was laughing at the altercation. I do not know where the impulse came from. But as the men began to pull the fighting soldiers apart, I crossed my free leg across my body and kicked the remaining man on his erect cock. He screeched loudly and moved his hands to cover his cock. But I quickly kicked again. He groaned, grabbing himself. He rolled over to the side, tears welling in his eyes. He started to roll around on the ground. He barreled into the quarreling soldiers and they all fell in a pile onto the ground, swearing and confused.

"I did not wait to see if I had any chance for escape. I simply rose and darted into the woods. I could not tell if the men chased after me or if they even noticed immediately that I had gone. Regardless, I sprinted through the underbrush, keeping to paths that I knew. Eventually, my mind went blank to everything except the impulse to keep moving. To keep moving and keep working so that I could stay alive," Mülteci finished her story now. Her voice just sort of faded out, just as she had faded out of her wits after her ordeal. Until we found her in the woods and terrified her again.

I sat on the bed next to the young bride, too overcome by the depth of her sadness and pain to think clearly. My eyes were wet and I felt stunned by the power of the girl's words. There was no doubt about her authenticity. She spoke with such fervor, I felt like I could feel see what she saw. It felt so fresh for her, a completely raw wound. In fact, it had only been a few hours earlier. Mülteci's life had been destroyed while I was just a few hours march away, trying desperately to find the enemy. Now they were on their way to this village, to wreak the same horror on still more of my people.

I decided at that time that Mülteci's suffering was over. My soldiers could not outfight the enemy, outnumbered and dejected as they were and so I could not save this village. But I would not leave Mülteci there to suffer the same fate again. If I could save this one girl from further damage, I could maybe accept the necessity of my coming flight.

Without thought, I draped my arm around Mülteci's shoulders, pulling her in towards, me, hugging her close. Her skin felt slightly cool, the after-effect of the shock that had clearly ravaged her body and mind. She was still shivering slightly, and she leaned heavily into me, placing her head on my breast. I wrapped my other arm around the girl, encompassing her in what little warmth I could provide. Mülteci was now sitting on her bottom on the bed and I was up on my knees, above her like a sentinel.

"I cannot begin to understand the pain that you feel," I whispered to her, "As your Sultanah, I will do what I can to protect you now. I am sorry there was nothing I could do before." Even as the words poured from my mouth, they felt weak and insufficient. What good was my protection now? It had already failed. What good was my protection to Mülteci? I could not offer it to all of my citizens, as they deserved.

"Please, just hold me now," Mülteci said through tears, "Part of me wondered if I would ever feel a loving touch again." My heart broke for her again, and I held her closer.

For a long while, we simply sat like that on the bed. I held Mülteci closely and offered her comfort as a woman, because I could offer her nothing of value as a Sultanah. Eventually, her crying ceased and her tears dried. But she remained leaning against me, her body warming slightly. I felt her head turn to look up at me. I bent down to look at her, to return her gaze. Her large, brown eyes looked impossibly deep. Her mouth opened slowly and I saw a red tinge rise in her cheek.

"You are as beautiful as we were told. We heard a lot about you," she said significantly, "But you are far warmer than I expected. Not at all distant or proud," As she spoke, her right hand slipped up and reached around to the back of my neck. She pulled me down slightly as her eyes closed. I did not even have time to react before I felt her soft, pink lips press into mine. My heart fluttered and I felt the electric feeling of a new lover's kiss. I was overwhelmed by it, allowing myself to melt into the feeling.

Her kiss was virginal, but my no means chaste. She did not part her lips or expose her tongue, but she nonetheless unleashed her passion. Her soft lips moved in-expertly, but enthusiastically, against my own and I heard a low moan in her throat. Her hand was soft but firm against my neck, holding me in place. She pressed into me more forcefully, making me hold her more tightly.

After a moment, I realized what was happening. My eyes shot open. I saw Mülteci's beautiful face directly in front of me, her eyes closed in an almost prayer-like fashion. I was terribly confused and uncomfortable. I had definitely not intended this when I began comforting her. How had it happened? Had I done something that had taken advantage of this damaged 19-year old girl in her hour of need? I pulled back from her quickly, our lips breaking. Mülteci's hand, for a moment, tried to hold me in place, but I pulled free.

"Mülteci... I am sorry," I said, unsure of what the appropriate response would be. Mülteci shook her head and gave me a wan smile. She leaned forward again, closing her eyes and attempting to kiss me. I placed on of my hands on her shoulder, holding her back, "Mülteci, it is not appropriate." I explained. I still had no idea where from this had impulse had implanted in the girl's mind, but I needed to knock it loose.

A primary cause of my concern as that I could sense that my resolve was in danger. I could feel my own body reacting to her innocent beauty. Her lips were so soft, her body so small and shapely, her eyes so earnest, and her spirit so enticing. And I felt like I could provide some comfort with my touch. I knew that if I did not stop this now, I might not be able to in the future.

"I apologize, Sultanah," the girl said, her head dropping. Guilt at her apparent discomfort flooded me now and I rubbed her shoulder gently.

"You have done nothing wrong," I replied.

"It is true what everyone said," Mülteci replied, "Everyone in the village said that the Sultanah loves us all deeply. I thought that it was just peasant talk. But here you are, caring for me. I just felt...something just told me...It seemed right," She said. My guilt grew deeper. It was just a few hours now before I would ride from this place with my forces, abandoning the peasants to their fate. This thought choked me, I was unable to speak. Mülteci continued.

"This night was to be my wedding night," she said slowly, almost entranced, "I was so ready for that. My mother had told me everything that would happen. I believed this night I would be in the arms of one who I loved and who loved me back. I thought I would experience..." Of course, I knew to what she was referring. My palms grew sweaty and I felt my cheeks flushing. "A communion of love. A final, physical binding to my Kırık."