Both Sides Now

"Oh, thanks, Phil. I hope I haven't kept you too late. Would you like a coffee before you go?"

Once again a speech that had become routine for Stephanie when she arrived home from these nights out.

"No, thanks, Steph, got a lot on tomorrow. I'd better get going. Did you have a nice time tonight?" I asked, not really wanting to know the answer but being polite. I picked up my jacket and started to head towards the door. Barry was going to meet me down the street to tell me what he'd seen.

"Oh, you usually have time to have a coffee with me, Phil. Are you in that much of a hurry?"

"I'm afraid I am, Steph. See you Saturday when I pick the kids up. Night," I said, closing the door behind me.

As I got in my car, I made a discovery that I really didn't expect and that gave me something to think about. In the darkened dining room that was only slightly illuminated by stray light getting into it from the hall, I could just make out Stephanie standing there watching me. Bugger if I could see Steph standing there, had she seen me watching her get out of that Merc?

I stopped my car at the end of the road by the pub; Barry appeared out of the shadows got in the passenger seat.

"I was right. It was the old geezer driving the Merc."

"But why did they sit outside the house for so long. What were they doing?"

"Nothing, nothing at all. I think I could make out Steph getting money out and paying the old boy. Then they just sat there, I don't even think they were talking. I saw Steph look at her watch a few times, then she suddenly got out and went inside the house."

"Doesn't make sense, Barry."

"Yes, it does. Look, Phil, I don't like to say this but Steph's playing games with your mind."

"Do what?"

"Look, the next time she calls you at the last minute, tell her you've got something on and can't make it. Then you call me on my mobile, here's the number. Look, if she's going out she'll have to ask Ruth to baby sit. If she's doing what I think she's doing, she won't go out at all. I can watch the house from mine and we'll soon know."

"And if she doesn't go out?"

"Well, the time after that you say yes, but let me know as well. I'll get Ruth on standby, the moment Steph goes off in that Merc. We'll be right behind her and see just where it is she's going all dressed up to kill and what she's doing there."

"I'm not sure, Barry!"

"Come on, Phil. Yes, you started this bloody mess and you've got to put an end to it. Whether you like what you find out or not."

"Okay, Barry, if you're willing to help me."

"Of course I am, Phil. What the fuck are friends for but to help each other when we're in the shit?"

It was the following Tuesday that I received the expected call from Stephanie at my office; as usual, quite late in the afternoon.

"Phil, sorry to ask you at the last minute. But could you by any chance look after the children for me tonight? My friends have asked me to go out with them."

"Oh, damn, Steph, I can't, I'm afraid. I've been dumped with the job of looking after a client from out of town. I've got to take her to dinner tonight. Sorry, girl, I won't be able to con any of the other guys into doing for this late in the day. Anyway it would probably upset her if one of the others showed up. Can't upset the clients, you know.

"Oh, damn, that's going to drop me right in it."

"Why don't you put it off until tomorrow night? I'll be at the house anyway to see the children."

"Oh, yeah, I'll see if I can change the night. Thanks anyway." Stephanie hung up.

As you might have guessed there was no client for me to take to dinner and I'd made the client female just in case Stephanie was playing games. I'd taken clients to dinner many times whilst we had been married but they always had been men in the past.

I called Barry and told him that Steph had just phoned me and I'd said I couldn't make it. I told him I'd made the client a female and he laughed.

"Now you're getting the idea, Phil. You're getting some idea of how these mind games work, and now we'll see what Stephanie does this evening. I'm tempted to send Ruth over and have her tell Steph you called and asked her to baby-sit for her. But Steph's not daft, there's no sense in letting on to her that I might be helping you."

It was nearly midnight when Barry called me again that night.

"Guess what, Phil? Steph never went out. Ruth spent an hour or so outside washing my car. She saw Steph open the door to let your eldest in; she must have been to a friend's house after school. Ruth said Steph definitely saw Ruth but she didn't ask her to baby sit. I tell you, Phil, Steph's playing mind games with you.

"Well, we'll see where she goes next time she asks me to baby sit. Just because she uses a taxi to get to wherever she goes to drink, it doesn't mean that she's not meeting some guy somewhere."

"You're sure she's drinking when she goes out?"

"Yeah, I can smell it on her breath. She kisses me on the cheek when I leave normally."

"Well, that explains that then."

"What?"

"Well, just before she got out of the Merc the other night, she put a hand up to her face and kind of lent back in the seat. Honestly I didn't understand what she did, but now I think she took a swig from a hip flask or something, so that she'd smell of booze when she got inside the house. Damn it, Phil, you've got one devious wife there."

"Ex-wife, Barry! Okay, I'll call you the next time she calls me."

"You're on. This is getting interesting."

"I'm glad you're having fun."

"Sorry, mate, I wait to hear from you."

============

The next call for me to baby-sit for Steph came on the Friday of the same week. She called a little earlier this time though.

At six thirty, there I was sitting on her bed again watching her put the final touches to her ensemble. Steph would call up to the bedroom the moment our eldest let me in. She would go through the same routine of explaining where everything was every time I baby sat for her. You'd have thought I'd never been in the house before and not lived there for the previous fifteen years.

But that evening it struck me. Steph wasn't giving me information that she needed to give a baby-sitter. She was showing herself off to me. Showing me how beautiful she could be, when she wanted to be. Shit, Barry was right; Steph was winding me up.

The Merc's horn sounded and I was treated to a repeat of the same show. Even down to the unnecessary mention of Tony's name. Debbie arrived on cue as well.

"Okay, Debbie what the hell is Steph up to?" I asked as she wheeled herself into the kitchen.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Phil. She's just gone out with her friends from work."

The children came out of the lounge to see where Debbie was but I shooed them back in the lounge and closed the door.

"Look, Debbie, Steph's up to something and I want to know what it is?"

"Phil, you know I love you and Steph as if you were my brother and sister. If Steph's up to something as you put it, she hasn't told me about it, I promise. Look, Phil, I tried to play peacemaker when you two separated and I told Steph then I wouldn't take sides. You've done so much for me since the accident. I wouldn't get involved in anything to harm or upset you, even if Steph had asked me to, which she hasn't."

'Damn it, where's Ruth? I've got to get out of here. There's no way we'll catch that Merc up now,' I was thinking as Debbie was talking. But then suddenly the teenager came tripping in the back door.

I quickly told Ruth that if Debbie made any telephone calls she was to call her father's mobile immediately. Debbie had joined the children in the lounge by then and wouldn't have heard me. I figured if she was into whatever Steph was up to she might call and warn her I was out looking for her.

Barry was parked in the street waiting for me and I jumped into his car as fast as I could, but Barry was on the phone and obviously not in any hurry to try and catch the Merc. I think he could see the agitated look on my face.

"Don't panic, Phil. Everything's under control," he said as he ended the call. "She's in a house about three miles away. I knew you'd never get out of the house in time for us to follow The Merc so I've got a friend on her tail."

Barry drove the three miles and pulled up behind another car that was parked in front of a row of houses, opposite a shopping parade. A guy got out of the car and came back to join us in Barry's.

"This is weird," he said as he climbed in the back. "She came out of that house about five minutes ago with four other women and they walked over to that Chinese restaurant over there, down the street."

"Phil, this Jef," Barry said. "Remember the guy I told you also had a run in with Samantha Cromer. Anyway what's weird about them going for a Chinese, Jef?"

"Your Mrs, Phil. She got out of that Merc all dressed up like she was going somewhere special. Christ, mate, I hope you don't mind me saying so but that's one wife you've got there."

"I had, Jef. We're in the middle of a divorce."

"Yeah, sorry to hear that. Been there myself and got the bloody tee-shirt to prove it. Anyway as I said she walks in the house looking like a million dollars. Ten minutes later she comes out with those other girls, dressed in jeans and a bloody sweater. You know I had to check it was the same woman with my binoculars. Oh, brought them with me in case I couldn't park close. But, bugger me, it definitely was her. What do you make of that?"

"No, it must have been someone who looks like Stephanie. What would she want to change for?" Barry said.

"I'll swear on my mother's grave, fellers, it was the same woman who got out of that bloody Merc," Jef insisted.

All three of discussed what the hell Stephanie was up to, along with Jef giving a me run down of the break up of his marriage - that I won't got into here - for the next hour or so.

Then suddenly Jef said. "Look, that's her, isn't it?"

Barry and I looked across the road where Stephanie had indeed come out of the Chinese restaurant with four other women. They were all dressed in jeans and sweaters. We watched as they walked back over the road and climbed into a people carrier. Jef rushed back to his car so that we could follow them.

About another five miles the people carrier turned into the car park of a bowling alley and parked. Then the girls got out of the car and went into the bowl. Jef followed the girls' car into the car park and Barry parked out on the road. After waiting a little while, Jef followed the women into the bowl. Ten minutes later he came back and joined us in Barry's car.

"They're bloody bowling. Looks like they're in a women's league or something."

"Damn, I told Phil she's winding you up. You know, making you jealous."

"No, doesn't sound right to me. How could she not turn up just like that when I didn't baby sit on Tuesday."

"Probably a practice evening. She wouldn't have to attend every practice evening now, would she? I don't always turn up for training at my football club," Jef volunteered.

"Yeah, sounds reasonable," Barry agreed. "But hang if I remember correctly there's a bar in there. I don't want to put you on a downer again, Phil, but they could be meeting some guys in there after they've played."

"Want me to stake the bar out?" Jef asked.

"Wouldn't do any harm," Barry said before I could reply. "But take it easy, Jef. Remember you've got to drive home tonight."

Jef said something about grandmothers and eggs to Barry as he got out of the car. We sat there waiting for a while then Barry pointed out there was a pub about fifty yards up the road. So we decided to adjourn there after we'd grabbed some fish and chips from a nearby chip shop and eaten it as we'd walked back to the pub.

Around half ten, Barry's mobile rang. It was Jef demanding to know where we were and telling us the girls were mobile again. There was no real panic as they just went back to the house they had started from.

When we got there, Jef got into Barry's car again and told us that after the girls had finished playing they went into the bar and by chance sat in the next booth to him. Jef said a couple of guys went over to talk to them, but only about bowling. After the first two guys had left two Jack the lads, as Jef put it, tried to chat the girls up but they were sent packing with a flea in their ear. He swore blind that he heard Steph tell this one guy she was married."

"Well, she is," I said.

"Technically she is, you mean. She's a free spirit as far as the law stands," Barry pointed out.

"Look, Phil, they weren't a bad looking couple of guys and they certainly had plenty of money. If Steph was looking for a man, I would have thought she'd have at least let them buy her a drink. She... well, they all blew off before the poor buggers had really started their spiel."

"Perhaps they weren't Steph's type?" Barry said.

"Could be but I don't think so. Look, all five of them had wedding rings on. From the way I read it, they were out bowling and weren't looking for anything else." Jef lent back in his seat.

"Do you mind watching and seeing what happens now?" Barry asked Jef. "We'd better get back so that Phil is settled in when she arrives home."

"Yeah, that's what I'm here for. You know, I think this private eye stuff is quite fun. I wonder how you get into the profession," Jef said as he got out of the car.

Barry dropped me off back at Steph's house. When I got inside, I was surprised to find that Debbie was still sitting in the kitchen with Ruth. She'd usually go home shortly after the children had gone to bed.

"Okay, Phil, come on. Tell us what you've discovered." Debbie asked.

I looked at her not really knowing what to say. After all, she did see Steph every day.

"Phil, honestly I'm on your side in this. If you don't want to tell me, I'll understand. But I'll have to ask Steph if you don't.

"Uncle Phil, Debbie is on your side, I promise. We all want to see you and Auntie Steph back together. Debbie and I have told the children not to say you went out tonight on pain of me never sitting for them again. Look, even the children are on your side, they want their father back."

"I'm not sure I like the idea of my children lying to their mother."

"All's fair in love and war, Phil, and this is either love or war. Whether you like it or not. The point is you've got to win this one and win Steph back. Now tell us what happened."

I looked at the two women sitting at my kitchen table and could see nothing but concern on their faces.

"Steph went bowling."

The looks on their faces changed from concern to confusion.

"Bowling?" Debbie repeated.

"Yep, bowling. There was no flashy guy in an expensive suit, no candle-light dinner and no hanky-panky that we could discern."

"That doesn't make sense." Debbie said, "Steph went out of here dressed to kill. I watched her from my house. That's why I came straight over. I knew you'd be upset."

"She got changed in a house in Sullervan Ave, near the shops. Then she and four other girls had a Chinese, before they went to the Bowling Alley. They had a drink in the bar and then went back to the house in Sullervan Ave."

"Sullervan Ave," Debbie repeated, "I'm sure that's where she said her friend from work lives. But what was all the dressing up to kill charade for?"

"To piss me off, I expect. God, she must really hate me."

"Don't be so quick, Uncle Phil," Ruth interjected. "Look, I know I'm only nineteen, and I haven't seen much of life yet. But I think I might know what Auntie Steph is up to and what you've got to do about it."

=============

It was the following Tuesday and Steph was playing that same script again. I was sitting on the bed as usual when the car horn sounded.

"I must rush. There's Tony now. You know where everything is, don't you, Phil, and don't let the children stay up too late, will you?" Stephanie gave me a quick kiss on the forehead and went out the bedroom door.

"Stephanie!" I called out.

Steph reappeared in the doorway.

"What is it, Phil? I must hurry. I can't keep Tony waiting."

"Don't run down those stairs in those bloody high heels. You'll fall and break your neck."

For just and instant I saw something in Steph's eyes that told me Ruth had been right. Stephanie had expected or hoped I was going to say something different.

"Okay, I'll be careful," Steph replied, "anything else?"

I shook my head slowly.

"Right, see you later," she said and disappeared again.

I jumped up and followed her. She was at the bottom of the stairs, giving her usual speech to the children when I arrived to the top. I watched as she went to open the front door. I needed to get the timing perfect.

"Stephanie!" I called and she turned to look up at me. "Tell Tony you aren't going tonight please!"

"Why?"

"Because I say so, and you're coming out to dinner with me instead!"

"I am? But who's going to put the children to bed?"

"I am Auntie Steph." Ruth's disembodied voice came from the lounge.

"Sure of yourself, aren't you?" Stephanie said looking back up at me.

"No, but I'm pretty sure of my wife."

"We'll see about that," she replied as she walked out of the door, leaving it open behind her.

By the time Stephanie had walked over to the Mercedes, I was at the front door. She opened her usual front passenger door and lent down, so she could speak to the driver; then she closed it again. But she didn't return to the house. The car's driver got out, placed a peaked cap on his head and then walked round to the near side of the vehicle where he opened the rear door and stood there waiting.

"Well, come on if we're going. The cars booked and I've... or rather you've... got to pay for it anyway," she said with a smile on her face.

Ruth handed me my jacket and I followed Stephanie into the car.

"Where are we going?" she asked.

"Tony knows."

"Oh, I see. You finally worked it out then?"

"Yeah!"

"Sorry, Phil, but I thought you'd given up on us. You just didn't seem to try anymore. I think I made a mistake in hiring Sam Cromer."

"Not the best of choices, if you really want to reconcile with your husband."

"Well, I was so damned angry with you and, once Sam Cromer started talking to me, I kind of let her take over. The next thing I know that bloody Judge was saying we were divorced. And then you seemed to just give up. You didn't ever ask me to reconsider or anything. Honestly, Phil, I thought I'd lost you.

"I thought I had lost you. I didn't think I had a chance of winning you back. So I didn't try."

"Well, I hoped if you thought there was someone else you'd get jealous. But, Christ, you took your time about it."

"No, I was jealous from the first time you went out. I just didn't know what to do about it. If I'd got all uppity, you might have made it awkward for me seeing the children. I had no idea what you were really up to."

We had a meal in one of the best restaurants in town and then went to a little place we'd sometimes gone to before, where we could dance. Tony picked us up at half twelve and drove us back to Stephanie's house.

After Ruth left, Stephanie and I sat in the kitchen and drank the coffee she'd made. About half one, I looked at the clock.

"I'd better be going. It's getting late!"

"Going where?" Steph asked.

"Home, of course."

"Oh, no, you don't. This is your home now, Phillip."

"You mean that?"

"Of course I do. I didn't go through all that charade just so you'd take me out to dinner. I wanted a husband back who wouldn't stand for any nonsense. Now come on. Let's go to bed. I don't know what you've been doing, but I've missed my little friend."

She took hold of my hand and tried to pull me to my feet. But I wouldn't move.

"All right, my big friend. Will that make you happier? Anyway I'm told it's nothing to do with his size, it's what you do with him that counts and what you do with him is what I need right now."